Need some help with refining my magic system

[Backwardstew]

So, I'm new here, and am working on the world building on a story, need a few people to look at my magic system and give any ideas that might help me enhance the idea within the story, also need help on whether or not I should have only a human race, or also other magical races within the world

There are two magics in the world, the 1st is the magic of death, in which anyone can learn, they control spirits who can be one of three classes. Spirits are also just living things who have died but still exist, and can be harnessed by anyone using magic, so humans and animals as well.. The first is the weapons class, you can shape a spirit into a weapon the spirit is familiar with. The 2nd class is enhancement, which a person can use a spirit to enhance their own physical self. The third is summoning, which is the hardest to control, but a person can grant a spirit physical capabilities. The drawback to this magic is that spirits can feel pain, Ex. if you shape a spirit into a sword and fight someone the spirit will feel pain. This also works with enhancement, where you can block your own injuries by passing them on to spirits. So as a result the spirit will start to screech in your head, which can slowly drive you mad. Also they will try to manipulate you whenever they can by whispering to you within your head. As a person witnesses more death they can become more powerful, but their sanity will also collapse quickly.

The 2nd magic is the magic of life, which can only be achieved by giving birth to a child, meaning only the female species would be able to have this magic. It is much safer, and allows for the manipulation of another person's skills, emotions, and actions, along with your own. They are also able to control inanimate objects to move as they wish. As a woman gives birth to more children, they would become more and more powerful. There is more to know about the magic of life, but that's part of the plot.

 

[LieutenantWolf34]

There are a decent amount of rules making this a hard magic system so that's interesting. Why only two kinds of magic? Why should mental manipulation be female-only magic? If a spirit was a politician or a lawyer or otherwise silver-tongued could you not harness their former talents into a sort of mental magic?

 

[Queshire]

Mmm... Are you familiar with the anime/manga Shaman King?

 

[pmmg]

Bet the families there are very large.

Well, my first question is, why do I need a spirit sword when I can just have a sword? They seem pretty effective at killing things.

 

[LieutenantWolf34]

Bet the families there are very large.

Well, my first question is, why do I need a spirit sword when I can just have a sword? They seem pretty effective at killing things.

A magic sword is harder to break I guess?

 

[Queshire]

You can probably sneak a ghost into some places where you couldn't sneak a sword ...and you could probably sneak a sword in some places you couldn't sneak a ghost.

 

[Backwardstew]

There are a decent amount of rules making this a hard magic system so that's interesting. Why only two kinds of magic? Why should mental manipulation be female-only magic? If a spirit was a politician or a lawyer or otherwise silver-tongued could you not harness their former talents into a sort of mental magic?

I guess I was trying to make the powers similar to their affinity, death magic seems to be more chaotic and hard to use, its like people were easy to be driven insane by using the magic.(also i'm thinking of making spirits just these wild uncontrollable beings) I guess you could learn different talents from some spirits through a lot of concentration, but I dont think i'd necessarily turn it to a spell they can use. Life magic seems to be more noble in a sense, where it was really just having control of different factors of life, short of raising the dead.

 

[Backwardstew]

Mmm... Are you familiar with the anime/manga Shaman King?

nope, is it similar in any way?

 

[Backwardstew]

Bet the families there are very large.

Well, my first question is, why do I need a spirit sword when I can just have a sword? They seem pretty effective at killing things.

I guess it adds to efficiency, why carry a sword when you could summon one immediately, even though there are drawbacks. Also I'm not sure if I should add it, but basically allow them to control the spirit weapon through their thoughts and/or gestures. Like launch the spirit weapon at an enemy 100 meters away with a flick of a hand and then call it back to you.

 

[Backwardstew]

A magic sword is harder to break I guess?

I'm thinking, that spirit swords can break normal swords, but if you have a spirit weapon stronger than another, you could break the weaker weapon, or whichever spirit weapon is more exhausted from pain.

 

[Queshire]

To the death magic, though without the insanity aspect. The main character is partnered with the ghost of a samurai and past the very begining of the manga he often uses the samurai's ghost to make a spirit sword.

 

[Backwardstew]

To the death magic, though without the insanity aspect. The main character is partnered with the ghost of a samurai and past the very begining of the manga he often uses the samurai's ghost to make a spirit sword

nice ig, i'm actually still working out how people can gain a spirit to use for themselves.

 

[pmmg]

If I have a steel sword and kill a man, he dies and becomes spirit, and as spirit he can break my sword. Does that follow?

Would any use spirit magic? Or would many not have the talent too?


Life creates death. Once we are born, we are already on the path to dying. In time, there will be more death than life just by numbers. In time can life prevail? If death is always adding to the pool of spirits, it would seem to me that is the big problem of your world. How to resolve the issue of the afterlife... what happens to all these spirits as time moves eternally forward.

 

[Queshire]

I mean, figuring out the afterlife couldn't hurt, but I don't think it's necessary. In my experience most stories that feature ghosts showing up are light on the details when it comes to accounting for every dead guy.

 

[pmmg]

Most accounts of ghosts are that they are things which did not pass on or head towards the light. Ghosts are kind of stragglers, not the whole. The OP has made it seem as if all ghosts linger, including those of animals.

 

[Backwardstew]

If I have a steel sword and kill a man, he dies and becomes spirit, and as spirit he can break my sword. Does that follow?

Would any use spirit magic? Or would many not have the talent too?


Life creates death. Once we are born, we are already on the path to dying. In time, there will be more death than life just by numbers. In time can life prevail? If death is always adding to the pool of spirits, it would seem to me that is the big problem of your world. How to resolve the issue of the afterlife... what happens to all these spirits as time moves eternally forward.

A spirit sword or, I might have a sword infused with a spirit to make it stronger, either way they are the only weapons able to shatter another spirit weapon like it. Other than a summoned spirit which can interact with the physical world and with the spirit weapons.

Spirit magic can be used by anyone, but you have to have a spirit to use it. Though, it takes time to actually use a spirit of any class correctly, and because of the drawbacks, which easily drive a user of the magic insane, it is still greatly feared.

Well, first, many spirits end up disappearing or shattering, and are led to the void, as there will be no afterlife. (not sure what the terms are gonna be to make a spirit disappear though) There is also a pretty big thing that people who use life magic have. Part of the plot, but basically they have the ability to steal the lifeforce from people, after they do a certain ritual.

 

[pmmg]

The more I think on this, the more questions I am having.

I don't think you have explained a system. This system is one layer back from this. Shaping spirits in to swords is no different than shaping steel into swords. The system is the means by which is happens. So....how does one connect to whatever energy to control spirits, what is the difficulty and cost of doing so, and how endless is the supply of energy?

And I hate to say, but women can already manipulate skills, emotions, and actions, so what about giving birth gives them more power to do so? Are they drawing some kind of energy from their offspring? Cause, women all by themselves have the means to create life (well, with some help).

Since you want comments on the system, I would need to know the mechanics. What is the source of the creative energy, how is it accessed, how is it spent, how is it increased and decreased.

I find I would ask a lot of questions about this world outside of the magic sphere. I am not sure what you are describing is actually magic. It something very close to just supernatural.

So, a more direct question. If I am standing there, and there is a ghost, what has to happen for me to turn him into a sword?

 

[Backwardstew]

The more I think on this, the more questions I am having.

I don't think you have explained a system. This system is one layer back from this. Shaping spirits in to swords is no different than shaping steel into swords. The system is the means by which is happens. So....how does one connect to whatever energy to control spirits, what is the difficulty and cost of doing so, and how endless is the supply of energy?

And I hate to say, but women can already manipulate skills, emotions, and actions, so what about giving birth gives them more power to do so? Are they drawing some kind of energy from their offspring? Cause, women all by themselves have the means to create life (well, with some help).

Since you want comments on the system, I would need to know the mechanics. What is the source of the creative energy, how is it accessed, how is it spent, how is it increased and decreased.

I find I would ask a lot of questions about this world outside of the magic sphere. I am not sure what you are describing is actually magic. It something very close to just supernatural.

So, a more direct question. If I am standing there, and there is a ghost, what has to happen for me to turn him into a sword?

Umm, honestly its probably my bad explaining, but when I meant shape, I didn't actually mean like using an anvil to shape the weapon, I meant that in a sense you would be able to conjure a weapon made from the spirit itself.
Again, as I said before, the power comes from the spirit itself, and when you use it to fight, persay you have a dual with someone, as the weapons clash together it causes the spirit pain, though the pain will not translate to the person wielding the spirit. The spirit will start to scream and it's screams in a sense are a powerful and terrible sound, which after enough time would drive someone to the brink of their sanity.

And when I meant the manipulation of those elements, I meant true manipulation, like causing another person to be angry or sad or happy, controlling their heartbeat and all of that. Someone with life magic could also strengthen or weaken another person's abilities, like their strength. Or if they are strong enough, take an amount of that ability from someone else. Also when I said, manipulate their actions, I meant taking control of another person, and having them act however they way the user of the magic wanted.
My goal for the magic of life is that, once a being gives birth and has offspring, their mentality changes to an extent, allowing them to notice a different magic, unnoticed to anyone before they had their child. It stems mainly from almost being wiser not that they have given life to another.

Well, first you have to claim the ghost by tying their being to yourself, once that is done you are able to have power over the ghost/spirit and use it. If it were a weapons class, then you immediately gain the knowledge of which weapon you can turn it to, then you just think it and next thing you know there's a spirit weapon in front of you.

I probably could have explained this better earlier, sorry

 

[Billybones]

Basically you are talking about black magic, stealing the power of dead souls and controlling other people. Sorry, I can't help you there. How about a magic that creates beautiful illusions to enlighten people?

 

[pmmg]

I am going to say, if I was reading this in a book, I would accept the systems as is.

Is it true, that if I claim the spirit of a skilled warrior, I gain a more powerful weapon than I would if I had the spirit of a farmer?

If the spirit of the warrior was stronger willed, would I have to be stronger than another in the craft to claim it?


Women are powerful enough. They dont need magic to manipulate me.