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Need some help with refining my magic system

Basically you are talking about black magic, stealing the power of dead souls and controlling other people. Sorry, I can't help you there. How about a magic that creates beautiful illusions to enlighten people?
ya know man, I didn't really think about that, now my magic system seems a bit off now
I am going to say, if I was reading this in a book, I would accept the systems as is.

Is it true, that if I claim the spirit of a skilled warrior, I gain a more powerful weapon than I would if I had the spirit of a farmer?

If the spirit of the warrior was stronger willed, would I have to be stronger than another in the craft to claim it?

Women are powerful enough. They dont need magic to manipulate me.
well, the magic system i envision was really strict, all spirits have the same level of power as another, though the only problem is that if they were strong and/or skilled, they would be much harder to deal with as they are able to drive someone insane easier. It's really up to the creativity and skill or the magic user on whether they win a battle or not.

Also, lets just say the men of this world i'm building are much stronger than us in terms of being manipulated by women.
Two questions (which may be related to each other).

- does death magic only have violent uses? If so, how do you determine what a weapon is? You could use a scythe to fight so it counts as a weapon? But what if a farmer decides to create one to take in the harvest? Does that still count as a weapon then? Or can there also be non-violent uses? There are plenty of tools that would be amazing to have which would be expensive and difficult to create in a pre-modern setting. A lumberjack with a magical chainsaw would have a huge competitive advantage over one with just an axe and handsaw. Or a baker creating a magical kneeding machine would be able to produce more bread than a competitor who didn't. Or any of another million of applications.

- How quickly do you go insane? Take the bread-making spirit. It's never (or rarely) injured, so it doesn't screech in your head. And if it's only the one, then the whispering could be easy to ignore. How long could you wield a spirit sword before going insane? If it's a day then few people would do it unless it was a last resort. If it's years, then people would assume they'd be fine and that it's future-self's problem.
So ig there are non violent uses, but its only things that the spirit was familiar with. If the spirit had used a magical chainsaw in its life, then theoretically, the user of the spirit would be able to conjure one. But those types of technology does not exist in the world yet. Once you tether a spirit to yourself, you will immediately know, just through it's own memories which will tell you what tools you may turn the spirit into. Or if the spirit is an enhancement class or a summoning class. The tools can be anything, from weapons to a brush.

It honestly is up to the character, but the screaming stops a few minutes or less after you stop using the spirit. Or after whatever is causing the spirit pain, stops. The whispers and screaming aren't something you can really turn out, cause they are in your head. There is also no limit to how loud and painful the screams can be, as the more spirits you use experience more pain, the screaming gets worse and worse. Also, the spirits only receive pain when the spirit weapons make contact with some other hard material, or another spirit weapon itself. Like if it struck armour it would experience pain, but if it cut someone's flesh there would barely be any pain. It's also just a horrifying thing to experience in your head, that most people prefer not to. Also, even when your not using the spirits, if you posses a strong enough spirit, it's whispers can also drive someone mad, but after a much longer time period.