Lame Jokes

[Philip Overby]

http://mythicscribes.com/forums/news-announcements/3607-terms-service.html

From the Terms of Service:

"You must not post, attach or link to any material which is false, defamatory, inaccurate, offensive, abusive, threatening, vulgar, hateful, harassing, obscene, profane, sexually oriented, racist, invasive of a person's privacy, adult material, or otherwise in violation of any International laws and regulations."

That's just part of the rules here. Most of us are adults, but we like to keep this a PG-13 environment.

So anyway...here's my lame joke.

Q. Knock knock.

A. Who's there?

Q. Isadore.

A. Isadore who?

Q. Is a door made of wood? (Bad "Full House" joke from Mr. Woodchuck.)

 

[Androxine Vortex]

http://mythicscribes.com/forums/news-announcements/3607-terms-service.html

From the Terms of Service:

"You must not post, attach or link to any material which is false, defamatory, inaccurate, offensive, abusive, threatening, vulgar, hateful, harassing, obscene, profane, sexually oriented, racist, invasive of a person's privacy, adult material, or otherwise in violation of any International laws and regulations."

That's just part of the rules here. Most of us are adults, but we like to keep this a PG-13 environment.

So anyway...here's my lame joke.

Q. Knock knock.

A. Who's there?

Q. Isadore.

A. Isadore who?

Q. Is a door made of wood? (Bad "Full House" joke from Mr. Woodchuck.)

That show was a bad joke.

I didn't make these up, a friend sent them to me....

What did the drunken hobbit say when he bumped into the wizard?

Saruman, I didn’t see you there!

-------------------------------

How many quarters does it take to play the new Lord of the Rings pinball game?

None -- it only takes Tolkiens!

----------------------------

And my Grandmother told me this...

The sign outside of the rehab facility said, "Keep off the grass."

----------------------------------

My mom actually made this one up...

What did the Zen Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?

Make me one with everything

 

[The Blue Lotus]

Q: Why was the number 6 afraid of the number 7?
A: Because 7 ate 9. Bahahaha

Riki your snake joke brings to mind a variation I heard long ago:
Same situation with the little boy showering with his parents except mom has a "Garage" and dad has a "Car".
little boy "Dad why does the neighbor park his car in mom's garage?" Whoopsie


Knock knock-

"Who's there?"

"Gum"

"Gum who?"

"I thought you were gonna gum with me?" nuck nuck nuck

 

[Ravana]

Q: How many witches does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Into what?

 

[Caged Maiden]

Why did the bubble gum cross the road?

It was stuck to the chicken's foot.


Okay I know that's really lame, but it's my favorite, and it still makes me laugh... hysterically sometimes.

 

[Sheilawisz]

Special Warning: Please do not post more jokes that are vulgar or obscene in any way. Follow the Terms of Service that Phil shared in a previous post.

 

[Chime85]

Vadar: Luke, I know what you are getting for christmas

Luke: No, no

Vadar: I KNOW what you are getting, son.

Luke: Noooo, that's impossible....

Vadar: Luke, you know it to be true

Luke: How, it's Impossible

Vadar: I have felt your presents

x

 

[Rikilamaro]

Can I just, "Thanks," for this thread? It made my day reading them at work yesterday. I even told some to the folks I work with and we giggled.

 

[Reaver]

Lame joke?

How can you tell if a cow is a samurai?

Spoiler: Here's the AWESOME punchline...

He's armed with a samurai sword.

 

[Butterfly]

Knock, knock

Who's there?

Doctor

Doctor who?

Well why ask if you already knew?

 

[ShortHair]

found this today...

A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?"

"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him." So he picks the dog up, examines his eyes, and checks his teeth. Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down."

"What? Because he's cross-eyed?"

"No, because he's really heavy."

 

[Butterfly]

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No-eye-deer

 

[Marlyn Almyr]

Two guys walk into a bar.......the second guy should have seen it coming.