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Narrative Exclamation

I was reading a novel the other day and the narrator/speaker/whatever you call it, had a sentence and at the end used an exclamation mark. So it would look something like this:

Adrian turned around and faced the monster. It was nearly fifteen feet tall, and was charging straight for him!

For some reason, this annoyed me. I don't know why but i have always preferred the "narrative voice" to be more "monotone" and not use exclamation. To sort of just tel me what is happening. To me, exclamation is another way to express emotion, it means excitement or that something is very important. Maybe it's just me, but i can't stand it when the speaker uses exclamation because to me it seems like it should be something only the characters should use. I'm sure the author wanted the fact that the fifteen ft. tall monster was charging straight for him to be exciting and that's why he put it there but for some reason I feel that the narrator shouldn't use them.

Thoughts? Questions? Concerns?
 

Chilari

Staff
Moderator
I dislike exclamation marks outside of dialogue. Even when Pratchett did it once it jarred. In the example you've given, I think the exclamation mark detracts from the seriousness and the menace of the situation, as if the write has put in brackets after the sentence "this is a big deal, you know." The words convey that this isn't something that is mundane. The exclamtion mark is also therefore unnecessary. Furthermore, the fact that we notice it like that breaks immersion.
 

Graylorne

Archmage
Only that I agree. I never use exclamation marks outside a dialogue, and even then sparingly. The text itself should convey the emotion. And that goes for narration too.
 
! outside of dialogue is one of those things that almost everyone recommends against, mostly because almost everyone thinks it looks weird and amateurish. I have to agree. Only if the narration was in a conversational style, where it's like someone talking to you, rather than the typical third-person POV narrator, would I be okay with exclamation marks.
 

TGNewman

Scribe
What about exclamation marks in thought? Eg:

This will get forty silver at market! Thought John, as he slipped the goblet into his bag.

It helps show the feeling of excitement the character (here John) has.
 
Lovecraft uses exclamation points outside of dialog, and it works in context most of the time. I think it's largely a matter of popular taste, and at some point it might come back, but for the most part I don't like it.
 

Steerpike

Felis amatus
Moderator
Lovecraft uses exclamation points outside of dialog, and it works in context most of the time. I think it's largely a matter of popular taste, and at some point it might come back, but for the most part I don't like it.

I've read a number of contemporary novels that use it as well. I don't care for it (though it is only a mild annoyance) and so it jumps out at me whenever I see it. It is certainly something one encounters in fiction being published now, though it isn't common.
 

Devor

Fiery Keeper of the Hat
Moderator
Furthermore, the fact that we notice it like that breaks immersion.

This. I'm not going to say there's no situation where it might be warranted - you know, anything goes in even a moment of comedy - but trying not to break immersion usually trumps anything else.
 

BWFoster78

Myth Weaver
My favorite scene in the second draft of my book, Chapter 4.2, contains one of these. I read through this thread yesterday, and my reaction was: I like it; I'm not changing it.

Later last night, I thought about it some more. I decided it really didn't fit with the rest of the narrative to have her make such a direct statement, and the exclamation point was probably a bad idea. Still, I really liked it and wasn't going to change it.

This morning, I decided that it really was a bad idea, and I have to change it.

Moral of the story is: it takes a while, but I usually listen to good advice. Thanks for the thread!
 
My favorite scene in the second draft of my book, Chapter 4.2, contains one of these. I read through this thread yesterday, and my reaction was: I like it; I'm not changing it.

Later last night, I thought about it some more. I decided it really didn't fit with the rest of the narrative to have her make such a direct statement, and the exclamation point was probably a bad idea. Still, I really liked it and wasn't going to change it.

This morning, I decided that it really was a bad idea, and I have to change it.

Moral of the story is: it takes a while, but I usually listen to good advice. Thanks for the thread!

Glad the thread could help you and thanks for the rep!
 

Telcontar

Staff
Moderator
I think they can be used outside of dialogue, but you have to make a good case for it. Furthermore, I never put an exclamation point on the end of a long sentence anyways - exclamations should be short.

It works best when in first person - there, narration is basically the MC's thoughts, anyways, and they can be surprised enough to merit an exclamation. I'm sure there are situations that it could work while in third person, but I can't think of a good example off-hand.

In most places where you want to convey to the reader the idea that "this is a surprise!" or "This should shock you!" simply giving the statement its own paragraph should suffice. In the example Vortex gave, I might have started the new paragraph after "...faced the monster."
 
I think they can be used outside of dialogue, but you have to make a good case for it. Furthermore, I never put an exclamation point on the end of a long sentence anyways - exclamations should be short.

It works best when in first person - there, narration is basically the MC's thoughts, anyways, and they can be surprised enough to merit an exclamation. I'm sure there are situations that it could work while in third person, but I can't think of a good example off-hand.

In most places where you want to convey to the reader the idea that "this is a surprise!" or "This should shock you!" simply giving the statement its own paragraph should suffice. In the example Vortex gave, I might have started the new paragraph after "...faced the monster."

I think I see what you are saying. I agree with your point that you can use them with the MC's thoughts because in a sense it is the same as talking but just inside their head and not aloud.
 

Steerpike

Felis amatus
Moderator
All in all, it is not that important of an issue to me. If a work is so poorly written that a narrative exclamation mark would make me put it aside, I won't be reading it in the first place. On the other hand, an otherwise excellent work that includes a few of them won't bother me.
 
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