Question: Young hero and older love interest

I personally have no problem with the age difference- but when you have taken care of someone as a child, I would feel pretty squicked to see you start interacting with that person on what appeared to be a sexual level. It smacks of parent/child incest.

 

there's supposed to be a famous story in Asia about a guy that raises a younger girl to be his ideal wife, though I can't remember what it's called off the top of my head...

 

And as I recall Murasaki was pretty freaked out when she came of age and realized that Genji expected her to sleep with him, because for so many years she saw him as a father/older brother figure. Bringing romance into an adoptive parent/child relationship is an extremely delicate subject, but if as you suggested the hero was a little older and more independent when he met the 'older love interest', it could work. It all depends on how you write it, and on the personalities of the characters.

 

I think it could work if they never truly fall into a mother-son, or older sister-younger brother, role. Despite the popularity of the trope, there are people who grow up with someone and never really grow that sort of relationship. Hell, there are even a few rare instances of actual parents and children who never quite bond in the way a parent and child do. That's not to say they couldn't be close, or friends, but there are children who see their parents first and foremost as friends instead of caregivers. So I would say that as long as the nature of their relationship prior to the romance is clearly not like a mother and a son's, it wouldn't squick me out, personally. And I don't mind the age difference, either.

 

instead of mother-son, why not mentor-student? It's still a bit squicky I guess, but less so. Maybe she trains him in magic or swordplay or some such rot?

 

That would squick me just as bad... but that's just me. In many cultures, your martial arts teacher is practically as much of a parent as your parent. (I had crappy parents; some of my martial arts teachers have been a lot more/better parents to me than they ever were).

The basis of the squick (in my case) is that the balance of power in a parent/child relationship as well as in a student/teacher relationship is just so unequal that it's difficult to get to a place where the parent/teacher is not taking advantage of the other person.... or at least is perpetually in a position where it would be so easy to take advantage of the power imbalance.

Of course, all these complexities could make for a good story- for those who aren't completely squicked about it!

 

Well, I think in the proposed story, the two seperate for awhile and don't start the romantic relationship until they re-unite. I can imagine the balance of power changing during that time, especially if the student becomes better then the teacher.

 

I know I harp on this series a lot, but Bujold's The Sharing Knife series has

Spoiler: The Sharing Knife

two protagonists who are around thirty years apart in age (early 20s, mid-50s, as I recall) and end up falling in love and getting married. It's considered kind of strange in the book, but not creepy.

 

As the other folks have said I do dind it a bit awkward that what was previously an adoptive parent relationship turns sexual, but handled well it could work. I have no problem with an age gap personally. In my draft one of the characters was rescued as a girl from bandits, and as an adult went to find the guy who saved her. He is over 20 years older, and they probably had the option of a romantic relationship, but became friends instead.

 

OK first off... Most publishers won't touch anything with teens having sex with adults.

If the male is 16 and she is an adult that is going to be a show stopper right there!


Secondly, and maybe more impoartantly...
If she has cared for him all these years, and then wakes up one day and decides she wants him that is going to put off a lot of readers, if this type of "love" is going to work you need A) Proper ages for the MC's as in he is over 18 and she being what ever age she is.B) There needs to be a long seperation between them emotionaly as well as physicaly speaking.

Sure some men fall in love with their mothers but we tend to lock them in rubber rooms!


Say he goes away maybe he runs away because he does not see this women as a motherly figure, but rather a love intrest and it embarasses him? Then years later he finds her, alone and sad... explaines he never wanted to hurt her after everything she had done for him but that his feelings were less than innocent... let it develop organicly from there. However that will only work if he is much older when she takes him in. Babies will learn to see whom ever is the caregiver (a good one mind you) as a parent figure. Just look at how many adoptions there are...

Just my .02 cents.

 

I personally don't have a issue with a young man having a relationship with an older woman... every young man should at least once in his life. Modern society typically frown on MEN dating younger women especially if a good number of years seperates their ages, but the same stigma doesn't seem to apply to the whole Mrs. Robinson syndrome. I think if you do it right, it could be an interesting addition to any story.

 

Some people justify dating an older women with the fact that women live longer but I don't really get that's justification at all.

 

Ah but Mrs. Robinson was a friends mother not his own... Or was she a neighbor? Either way she did not raise him as is the proposed story line here.
However now I must listen to that song! I love Simon & Garfunkel!

If I am not mistaken I believe Mrs. Robinson is commited to an asylum after the afair.

Here are the lyrics to the song.

(Lyrics)
And here's to you, Mrs. Robinson
Jesus loves you more than you will know (Wo, wo, wo)
God bless you please, Mrs. Robinson
Heaven holds a place for those who pray
(Hey, hey, hey...hey, hey, hey)

We'd like to know a little bit about you for our files
We'd like to help you learn to help yourself
Look around you, all you see are sympathetic eyes
Stroll around the grounds until you feel at home

And here's to you, Mrs. Robinson
Jesus loves you more than you will know (Wo, wo, wo)
God bless you please, Mrs. Robinson
Heaven holds a place for those who pray
(Hey, hey, hey...hey, hey, hey)

Hide it in a hiding place where no one ever goes
Put it in your pantry with your cupcakes
It's a little secret, just the Robinsons' affair
Most of all, you've got to hide it from the kids

Coo, coo, ca-choo, Mrs Robinson
Jesus loves you more than you will know (Wo, wo, wo)
God bless you please, Mrs. Robinson
Heaven holds a place for those who pray
(Hey, hey, hey...hey, hey, hey)

Sitting on a sofa on a Sunday afternoon
Going to the candidates debate
Laugh about it, shout about it
When you've got to choose
Ev'ry way you look at it, you lose

Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio
A nation turns its lonely eyes to you (Woo, woo, woo)
What's that you say, Mrs. Robinson
Joltin' Joe has left and gone away
(Hey, hey, hey...hey, hey, hey)

 

I figured, but I think as long as this older woman isn't related by blood to the hero, I wouldn't have an issue with it... not too many adult fantasy stories have much for incest (song of fire and ice does). I know the song... my mom used to listen to it when I was a kid, though I haven't really made a study about the lyrics more than the concept.

 

Jacqueline Carey got away with doing this in her Kushiel series. The older person was in both an adoptive-father type role as well as a teacher. Carey tried to make it okay by having the student/son persue the father/teacher, and the father/teacher be all conflicted and reluctant about it. That didn't help the squick for me, although I don't know what the general reader reaction was- apparently the series did well.