Show, don't Tell...How do you do it?

[Jabrosky]

My reviewers have told me I have a problem with telling too. It's not that I don't try to show; in fact, I'm actually reluctant to explicitly state characters' emotional states (e.g. "she felt sad" or "he enjoyed this") precisely because it sounds too telly. I think my issue is that I'm not sure what I must show versus what I can safely tell.

For example, I don't like going into depth about my characters' backstories, because I feel that delays me from the story's central conflict. I want to get to the Inciting Incident as soon as possible. However, sometimes I wonder if I should spend more time setting things up and showing the characters' backstories. I realize there is the solution of writing the main conflict first and then adding the setup later, but as a linear thinker I have a hard time writing scenes out of order.

 

[BWFoster78]

I'm actually reluctant to explicitly state characters' emotional states (e.g. "she felt sad" or "he enjoyed this") precisely because it sounds too telly.

I think that your attitude on this is a good thing.

For example, I don't like going into depth about my characters' backstories,

To me, this sounds like a good thing as well.

My reviewers have told me I have a problem with telling too.

What are you trying to accomplish in the sections where your reviewers are telling you this?

I want to get to the Inciting Incident as soon as possible.

Again, probably a good thing.

However, sometimes I wonder if I should spend more time setting things up and showing the characters' backstories.

Probably not. I think that characters are revealed through their actions, not through backstory. Also, consider this: backstory is much more impactful when the reader already knows the character.

 

[Caged Maiden]

Here's a link to a short passage I'd love some advice on. I was going to post it here, since it is on topic, but I didn't want to detract from the original passage, since I think we are still waiting for him to post more.

http://mythicscribes.com/forums/writing-questions/5415-dont-tell-me-show-me.html

 

[BWFoster78]

Here's a link to a short passage I'd love some advice on. I was going to post it here, since it is on topic, but I didn't want to detract from the original passage, since I think we are still waiting for him to post more.

I didn't see the link.

 

[Caged Maiden]

sorry, haha in th 30 seconds it took me to make the post and come back and edit it, you hit the thread. Thanks for your enthusiasm! link coming HEHE I wrote this post for you BW, I'm very interested in seeing what you would do to show what I'm trying to tell THANKS in advance!

 

[Jabrosky]

What are you trying to accomplish in the sections where your reviewers are telling you this?

IIRC, the most common complaint is a pacing one; I may have a lot happening in a passage but say relatively little about it. It's hard to explain without examples though.

 

[T.Allen.Smith]

IIRC, the most common complaint is a pacing one; I may have a lot happening in a passage but say relatively little about it. It's hard to explain without examples though.

Can you give a couple of examples? It's hard to comment otherwise.I will try, but you may find the advice rather generic. These are the guidelines I try to follow for my writing:

1) Adverbs. These tend to indicate places where you ate telling. Examine your adverbs for places where you are telling and replace with showing. Precise verbs & descriptors work better than weak adverbial modifiers.

2) To be verbs. Words like "was" not only can indicate the use of passive voice but can often be telling. To say "The dog was fat" is telling. Describing the physical features and movements in greater detail you can show the reader that the dog is fat.

3) Action. Is this a character's action in the present story? If yes, then make all efforts to show. Simply saying "He swung the sword" is boring and worse than boring, it's vague. Show me exactly what the character did so I know how the weapon was swung.

4) Description. Is the item or person being described important to the story? If so, try to paint a picture of the features with words without just coming out and telling us what it/they look like. To limit length you can be brief or telling with elements that are only present for texture and ambiance. A character in the book for window dressing or just to fill a background role may not need much description. Also, look through the POVs eyes. Just try to describe what they see. If they notice something worth writing about at any length, it's likely important enough to deserve description.

That's the basics for me... There are other points in the "show don't tell" philosophy but if you can stick to the 4 above whenever possible, it will improve your work. You mentioned pacing as a problem at the end of your post. Description needed for proper showing will make your work heavier in word count and it can slow down the cadence of the language. Breaking the longer description with shorter sentences & quick dialogue can help to vary pacing. Likewise, a passage that tells too much can also deliver a monotone cadence because it doesn't offer any longer description. In this case the writing is all shorter and curt.

Hope this helps.

EDIT: Some of the above points were expounded upon in edit for greater clarity.