Ireth
Myth Weaver
One of the characters in my WIP is a human guy named AilÃn who possesses the Sight, which allows him to see through Fae Glamour and, in a very limited way, some other magical illusions. At the point in the story I'm at now, AilÃn comes across an evil elf disguised as a human. Since the disguise is magical but not Fae-related, AilÃn can only see glimpses of the elf's real appearance for a split-second at a time. This results in the elf's appearance constantly flickering back and forth between the disguise and the real thing, which gives AilÃn quite the headache. My issue is how to describe it in the narrative without sounding clunky. At this point, I've got this:
But I've also thought of saying something like this:
Which would you say is smoother? Or should I try another way? Feedback is much appreciated. Thanks!
[...] AilÃn took a few steps closer, staring at the human stranger in bafflement. It was like looking at two similar but distinct images one after the other in rapid succession. It couldn't be just the haze of the wards that made him flicker like that.
But I've also thought of saying something like this:
[...] AilÃn took a few steps closer, staring at the human stranger in bafflement. He flickered, as though AilÃn was looking at two similar but distinct images one after the other in rapid succession. It couldn't be just the haze of the wards that did that.
Which would you say is smoother? Or should I try another way? Feedback is much appreciated. Thanks!