Michael K. Eidson
Archmage
I actually disagree with the concept of "only if it's important to the story." The tone and vibe of the novel is really what matters:
-if your readers are already immersed in a gritty tale, this means they are more open to reading detailed love scenes (less room for being offended).
-love scenes by their very nature are designed to show character growth and vulnerability. It binds characters, brings them closer emotionally. Meaning, it's a positive way of developing strengths etc.
So I'm looking for advice on how you would deal with this in your writing, thanks in advance!
I totally agree with Chessie2 that the tone and vibe of the novel is really what matters. Though you say you're not writing erotica, if the tale is gritty in other ways, maybe you're okay with including detailed love scenes for the sake of realism. If the tale is not gritty in any way, it's probably not a wise decision to throw explicit sex scenes in the middle of it. If you're somewhere in the middle, maybe you can include some sex scenes with only the explicit details that are important to the story, which is not to say they are important necessarily to the plot, but may be character building or world building or whatever.