Prince of Spires
Auror
That is beautiful Malik
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Favorite excerpts from your novels.
- Thread starter Super Fantasy
- Start date
I hadn't read that, yet. It's a really wonderful piece of writing. I've been in a strange place for a while, but I'm almost back. May even get back on the ball and everything.
Malik
Auror
Yup. Took me a long time to write it; I kept flinching with every line. I'd walk away for a couple of days, then come back and take another run at it. That's when you know you're in the good stuff, though, I think. The stuff that hurts.
I do believe the book that comes from--Stonelands--is going to make some noise. Three publishers holding onto it right now. They won't pass, but they won't buy. They gush about it but they think there's no readership for it. And there isn't, yet, because this hasn't been done before.
No worries; it's not out yet. Did I send you a beta? I'm happy to.
You sent it to Jenny, and then she got sick. I've got it on my computer right now.
I think I know what I'd doing tonight.
Dankolisic
Minstrel
-So, Aeliz. Some time has passed. What do you think about the Path?
Aeliz looks at Dessax. Until now nobody asked him that kind of a question.
-Destiny brought us where we are. - he said and looked down.
-Destiny. What a strange word. A word we all follow blindly, yet we accept things as they are. Deep down in the valley, someone is cheering because destiny brought him a son, and on the other side of our land someone is cursing our goddess because she lost her daughter. Then, I ask you, Aeliz: does it matter if we believe we have a path written somewhere outside of this realm? Everything happens how it happens, and destiny is far from fair.
Aeliz could not disagree with him, but he had a feeling if he said something like I know all that, he wouldn't do well. So intead, he nodded and said:Aeliz looks at Dessax. Until now nobody asked him that kind of a question.
-Destiny brought us where we are. - he said and looked down.
-Destiny. What a strange word. A word we all follow blindly, yet we accept things as they are. Deep down in the valley, someone is cheering because destiny brought him a son, and on the other side of our land someone is cursing our goddess because she lost her daughter. Then, I ask you, Aeliz: does it matter if we believe we have a path written somewhere outside of this realm? Everything happens how it happens, and destiny is far from fair.
-Erah blessed us to protect Underland. And if our destiny is to taste hard times, then the Path is just a beginning. What is to this life if we don't have destinies? Griff Wrongflow never would've defeated the bandits. All the greenmares that did anything in their lifetime, did that accidentally and just had luck? I think the answer lies somewhere far and deep, somewhere we cannot go. In the past, and the future.
Dessax looked at him.
-You are poignant, I will give you that.
- Thread starter
- #67
Super Fantasy
Sage
By the time they got to Gauntgumery 4476, there was a light mist of rain that barely missed them, making Misty feel mysterious.
This made Yinormara and Unini feel unique, as if there was a calm before the storm.
And by the time the three of them got to Yinormaras apartment, the storm had set in, loud groans of thunder made the sky sound mysterious.
The three of them couldn't see out the window, as the skyscraper was so tall it reached the clouds, only shades of darkness were visible.
This made Yinormara and Unini feel unique, as if there was a calm before the storm.
And by the time the three of them got to Yinormaras apartment, the storm had set in, loud groans of thunder made the sky sound mysterious.
The three of them couldn't see out the window, as the skyscraper was so tall it reached the clouds, only shades of darkness were visible.
- Thread starter
- #68
Super Fantasy
Sage
"Now that we graduated utopian school, what should we do?" Misty asked.
Yinormara, Unini and Misty were always good friends among their peers.
"We should go explore the city!" Yinormara said.
They had explored the city many times, although rarely at night in the rain.
And that night they decided to explore the city in the rain.
Yinormara went to her closet and took a rain coat and umbrella for each of them.
And when they got to the bottom floor of the skyscraper, they could see the rain outside underneath the pink street lights.
Yinormara, Unini and Misty were always good friends among their peers.
"We should go explore the city!" Yinormara said.
They had explored the city many times, although rarely at night in the rain.
And that night they decided to explore the city in the rain.
Yinormara went to her closet and took a rain coat and umbrella for each of them.
And when they got to the bottom floor of the skyscraper, they could see the rain outside underneath the pink street lights.
JBCrowson
Troubadour
I'm with Oscar Wilde - I can resist anything except temptation.
JBCrowson
Troubadour
Dylan Thomas was another lifer (as in longest sentence going). One of his was an entire page, I think it was in Under Milk Wood.
- Thread starter
- #71
Super Fantasy
Sage
The next day, the two of them planned on going to the lame hills named go away.
Once they got to the lame hills named go away, they felt as if they should go away.
Outside of the gate, they could see the hills down a ravine.
The hills had a sleazy lame look, and there were sleazy lime trees here and there.
"We could walk for weeks." Vereleny said.
"These hills go on and on." She further stated.
"And they were at one time populated, although below the surface of the hills."
"Who were they populated by?"
"There are many hatches that lead downward for very long."
"And below the hatches there are a variety of yixies."
"People populated these yixies a very long time ago."
"A yixie is like a underground culdesac."
"Although the yixies were populated at one time, everyone abandoned the yixies."
"Why did they abandon them?"
"Occultism was the reason the people who lived in the yixies abandoned them."
"The yixies were vibrant with multiculturalism and technology."
"And those who abandoned them had a somewhat nihilistic goal in mind."
"And after they abandoned the yixies they renamed the lame hills named go away, from the name "Fun hills named run away" to the current name."
"A fitting name for the hills, at least they had thought so."
"Can we go to see the yixies?"
"No, because the hatches were locked when the occultists abandoned the yixies."
"Cant we break the lock or something?"
"No because they used twenty pound locks."
"That much security?" I wonder what they were hiding.
"Who knows."
"Nobody is interested in them anyways."
And once they got the lame hills named go away, they felt as if they didn't belong there.
They felt like they should go away.
"Perhaps those who once lived underneath these hills ran out of fun to have."
"And in turn named the hills the lame hills named go away."
Once they got to the lame hills named go away, they felt as if they should go away.
Outside of the gate, they could see the hills down a ravine.
The hills had a sleazy lame look, and there were sleazy lime trees here and there.
"We could walk for weeks." Vereleny said.
"These hills go on and on." She further stated.
"And they were at one time populated, although below the surface of the hills."
"Who were they populated by?"
"There are many hatches that lead downward for very long."
"And below the hatches there are a variety of yixies."
"People populated these yixies a very long time ago."
"A yixie is like a underground culdesac."
"Although the yixies were populated at one time, everyone abandoned the yixies."
"Why did they abandon them?"
"Occultism was the reason the people who lived in the yixies abandoned them."
"The yixies were vibrant with multiculturalism and technology."
"And those who abandoned them had a somewhat nihilistic goal in mind."
"And after they abandoned the yixies they renamed the lame hills named go away, from the name "Fun hills named run away" to the current name."
"A fitting name for the hills, at least they had thought so."
"Can we go to see the yixies?"
"No, because the hatches were locked when the occultists abandoned the yixies."
"Cant we break the lock or something?"
"No because they used twenty pound locks."
"That much security?" I wonder what they were hiding.
"Who knows."
"Nobody is interested in them anyways."
And once they got the lame hills named go away, they felt as if they didn't belong there.
They felt like they should go away.
"Perhaps those who once lived underneath these hills ran out of fun to have."
"And in turn named the hills the lame hills named go away."
- Thread starter
- #72
Super Fantasy
Sage
"These hills have been abandoned for a very long time."
One hatch was golden and printed with the the letter Z on it.
And the hatch had a very large golden lock that was unlocked.
"We could see where this hatch leads." Vereleny said.
Vereleny opened the hatch and they climbed down the ladder.
After four minutes of climbing down the ladder they reached the bottom of the ladder.
The lighting systems and other systems of the yixie had long been off.
So they used a flashlight as they explored the yixie.
The yixie looked like many of the populated twisps that they had explored before.
Although the yixie had a very lonely feel, they felt like they should leave.
Although the yixie was anything but scary feeling, so they explored the yixie further.
And there were many ancient stores and apartments, left and right of the main road and many miles of yixies deep below.
One of the stores they explored was known as "Let me in" very long ago.
And there were many golden lemons on display.
They quickly stole the golden lemons as fast as they could, and because they were quite heavy they decided to go back to the lame hills named go away.
Although the golden lock was too heavy to carry back with them.
They had collected 25 golden lemons.
Interestingly enough the golden lock had the number 26 on the lemon.
Although they felt like the yixie store deserved to be thieved from, such a lonely place for such lemons to exist for so very long.
"The poor lemons."
"I think they needed some lime friends."
One hatch was golden and printed with the the letter Z on it.
And the hatch had a very large golden lock that was unlocked.
"We could see where this hatch leads." Vereleny said.
Vereleny opened the hatch and they climbed down the ladder.
After four minutes of climbing down the ladder they reached the bottom of the ladder.
The lighting systems and other systems of the yixie had long been off.
So they used a flashlight as they explored the yixie.
The yixie looked like many of the populated twisps that they had explored before.
Although the yixie had a very lonely feel, they felt like they should leave.
Although the yixie was anything but scary feeling, so they explored the yixie further.
And there were many ancient stores and apartments, left and right of the main road and many miles of yixies deep below.
One of the stores they explored was known as "Let me in" very long ago.
And there were many golden lemons on display.
They quickly stole the golden lemons as fast as they could, and because they were quite heavy they decided to go back to the lame hills named go away.
Although the golden lock was too heavy to carry back with them.
They had collected 25 golden lemons.
Interestingly enough the golden lock had the number 26 on the lemon.
Although they felt like the yixie store deserved to be thieved from, such a lonely place for such lemons to exist for so very long.
"The poor lemons."
"I think they needed some lime friends."
- Thread starter
- #73
Super Fantasy
Sage
Pretty good huh?
What do you all think?
Should I write more?
What do you all think?
Should I write more?
Azul-din
Troubadour
Interesting format. Reads like an illustrated story- have you thought of adding sketched drawings a' la Seuss? Maybe in and amongst the lines? You could vary the typeface, too, for dramatic effect.
- Thread starter
- #75
Super Fantasy
Sage
idk for sure, only writing as of now
- Thread starter
- #76
Super Fantasy
Sage
From another short story im writing "Treason this season"
The underground jixy was like a underground culdesac where many ARM spies lived.
They had at one time lived in the jixy when younger but they managed to escape from the ARM spies and their jixy when younger for a better way of life.
Although the ARM spies always allowed them back in the jixy, so that night they opened the hatch and climbed down for some time.
When they were close to the jixy, they could hear the strizzy punk music of the ARM vixies among the clanging of metal wind chime chains that were dangled as decorations.
They were perplexed by the wall paintings of lemons spies on the walls of the jixy among wise guy limes.
And they walked to a store they remembered when they were younger known as "Spy on me".
This store sold many wares such as jixy computers, rixy smartphones, lemon flavored trouble gum and black fairy tale rum.
The underground jixy was like a underground culdesac where many ARM spies lived.
They had at one time lived in the jixy when younger but they managed to escape from the ARM spies and their jixy when younger for a better way of life.
Although the ARM spies always allowed them back in the jixy, so that night they opened the hatch and climbed down for some time.
When they were close to the jixy, they could hear the strizzy punk music of the ARM vixies among the clanging of metal wind chime chains that were dangled as decorations.
They were perplexed by the wall paintings of lemons spies on the walls of the jixy among wise guy limes.
And they walked to a store they remembered when they were younger known as "Spy on me".
This store sold many wares such as jixy computers, rixy smartphones, lemon flavored trouble gum and black fairy tale rum.
- Thread starter
- #77
Super Fantasy
Sage
Jillanium offered Vereleny a drink, and when she asked what kind of drink Vereleny wanted, Vereleny replied "A Black Yin'eh".
"Thats my favorite drink." Jillanium said as she made two black yin'ehs
She poured the coconut vodka into two glasses, along with the spash of vorvela fruit juice and a splash of black tea.
"The vorvela fruit is ripe untill mature, then fresh after it matures."
"It has the a taste some think of as fruitful, especially when mixed with coconut vodka juice."
Verelenyes cat licked Jillaniums frog chicken, purring as the frog chicken ribbocked.
"What did you name your pet frog chicken?"
"Twisty Jisty". Jillanium replied, sipping her Black Yin'eh.
"Black Yin'ehs are said to taste like a cat looks." Vereleny said as Jillanium tried to get her pet cat Jilly to eat a piece of vorvela fruit.
Jilly barely looked at the vorvela fruit.
"Thats my favorite drink." Jillanium said as she made two black yin'ehs
She poured the coconut vodka into two glasses, along with the spash of vorvela fruit juice and a splash of black tea.
"The vorvela fruit is ripe untill mature, then fresh after it matures."
"It has the a taste some think of as fruitful, especially when mixed with coconut vodka juice."
Verelenyes cat licked Jillaniums frog chicken, purring as the frog chicken ribbocked.
"What did you name your pet frog chicken?"
"Twisty Jisty". Jillanium replied, sipping her Black Yin'eh.
"Black Yin'ehs are said to taste like a cat looks." Vereleny said as Jillanium tried to get her pet cat Jilly to eat a piece of vorvela fruit.
Jilly barely looked at the vorvela fruit.
Demesnedenoir
Myth Weaver
Very few new words written today, as i decided to go with some editing and rest the creativity for a brutal weekend of writing. So! I ran across this piece in my WIP, Shadows of Man. It's one of those fragments where I just said, yeah, that's dead on.
"Well, ladies, let's eat." Ivin offered his arm to Ieru, and she jumped at the chance to hook his wrist with an elbow, but when his other elbow pointed Eliles' way, she hesitated.
She'd buried her feelings for the man—superficial, childish feelings no more than puppy love—then buried them deeper when he returned to her married. He was being polite, playful, and taking advantage of the talk of kings, queens, and princesses. An elbow meant nothing.
She curtsied. "Your lordly kingliness." Her hand slipped past his, and they joined elbows for a stroll. A mistake she recognized in an instant as she walked beside him, with every step they took and every word they shared digging like tiny shovels toward a past that was more dreamed than lived.
"Well, ladies, let's eat." Ivin offered his arm to Ieru, and she jumped at the chance to hook his wrist with an elbow, but when his other elbow pointed Eliles' way, she hesitated.
She'd buried her feelings for the man—superficial, childish feelings no more than puppy love—then buried them deeper when he returned to her married. He was being polite, playful, and taking advantage of the talk of kings, queens, and princesses. An elbow meant nothing.
She curtsied. "Your lordly kingliness." Her hand slipped past his, and they joined elbows for a stroll. A mistake she recognized in an instant as she walked beside him, with every step they took and every word they shared digging like tiny shovels toward a past that was more dreamed than lived.
The Dark One
Auror
While this is a masterful piece of writing, the flavour is about as far from fantasy as you could possibly get.If we're talking writing, writing, I've posted it on here before, but there's a passage in my WIP on subs that's definitely my favorite passage I've written, yet. Two paragraphs--one of them, a single line--and you have the MC's entire history and motivation. This lone paragraph allows me to fast-track the story from the prologue to the MC staring through a portal to a fantasy realm in 35 pages, accelerating the plot like it's been launched off the USS Eisenhower.
Which I love - as a sci-fi writer myself I always start out in the here and now and only gradually morph into something odd. Makes the odd stuff seem more real when it comes.
Malik
Auror
Thanks. I leaned hard into 80s and 90s thriller writers for the voice: Clavell, Trevanian, Lustbader, Stephen Hunter. I wanted it to read like an old-school military thriller. There's no vatic voice at all, and the narrative tone is transparent.
I did this because Stonelands is a cross-worlds SF based in a fantasy world--the people who visit the fantasy world
same world as my first series
If I did this right, it'll show SF and Fantasy as simply a matter of perspective. The voice was pivotal in setting it up.
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