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How can I further develop the universe of this medieval romance fantasy novel of mine?

I want you to help me with the worldbuilding of this medieval romance fantasy novel of mine. What do you think of this medieval romance fantasy novel of mine?

This is about a warrior princess who rules a whole medieval country while waging wars against wicked humans and demonic forces that try to destroy it. She is the protagonist. The parents(The king and the queen) of the warrior princess are dead and the warrior princess has no sibling so the responsibility of governing the medieval country fell to the hands of the warrior princess. By the way, the father(He is the king) of the warrior princess is a warrior.

The warrior princess is brave, adventurous, and mature. She is a fierce warrior who is highly patriotic to her country. She is also brutal and ruthless to all her evil enemies.

She is tall, has a sexy female body, and is beautiful. She has long dark brown hair and red eye pupils. She is 18 years old. She is supernaturally immortal and doesn't age because she used a supernatural object that supernaturally made her immortal and stopped her from aging. She is a highly-skilled warrior. She is highly-skilled when it comes to using two-handed swords that have long blades. She is very skilled in many martial arts.

But the warrior princess isn't the only main character of the story. The other main characters of the story are her 50 knights.

Her 50 knights are all muscular tall handsome 18 year old boys. They are supernaturally immortal and don't age because the warrior princess protagonist used a supernatural object that supernaturally made them immortal and stopped them from aging. The 50 knights all have short hair. The 50 knights are all highly-skilled warriors. They are highly-skilled in many martial arts. Like the warrior princess protagonist, they are also highly-skilled when it comes to using two-handed swords that have long blades. The 50 knights are the personal bodyguards of the warrior princess protagonist. They are her toughest and best warriors. These 50 knights of the warrior princess protagonist are 50 of the best warriors in the whole world.

The 50 knights of the warrior princess protagonist are brave and very determined warriors. They are fierce warriors who will defend the warrior princess protagonist at the cost of their lives. They like the warrior princess protagonist very much as a friend. They are very polite and very respectful to her. They are very loyal to her and will sacrifice their lives for her. They listen to her orders. They are very protective of her and will brutally kill anyone that dares harm her.

By the way, the country of the warrior princess protagonist is divided into 5 classes of people. They are the commoners, the servants, the soldiers, the knights, and the rulers.

1. The commoners are just the average people. Commoners can be workers. Most of them are middle-class.

2. The servants are not warriors but are people who serve the warrior princess protagonist in non-combat ways such as preparing the clothes of the warrior princess protagonist, etc.

3. The soldiers are the warriors of the warrior princess protagonist's military. They are the various types of warriors that defend the country of the warrior princess protagonist.

4. The knights are the 50 knights of the warrior princess protagonist. Currently, there are only 50 knights and they are the 50 knights of the warrior princess protagonist. I previously talked about these 50 knights. I previously talked about their appearance, their personalities, their skills, their characteristics, and their duties to the warrior princess protagonist. They are also warriors of the warrior princess protagonist's military but they are special because they are higher in rank compared to other soldiers of the warrior princess protagonist's military. The knights also have special combat skills that other soldiers(These are soldiers of the warrior princess protagonist's military) don't have and are far better fighters than other soldiers(These are soldiers of the warrior princess protagonist's military) which is why the knights are higher in rank compared to other soldiers of the warrior princess protagonist's military.

5. The rulers have the highest rank compared to other social classes of the country. They are the kings, the queens, the princesses, and the princes.

This is the hierarchy of the country. The commoners are lower in rank than the servants and the soldiers. The servants and the soldiers are on the same level. The knights are higher in rank than the servants and the soldiers. The rulers are higher in rank than the knights.

The 50 knights of the warrior princess protagonist were actually 7 year old boys who were raised and trained as warriors by the military's warriors and the king(He is dead. He is the father of the warrior princess protagonist.). They were raised to like and admire the warrior princess protagonist. By the way, these 50 knights aren't just warriors or bodyguards of the warrior princess protagonist. They are also literally her servants and they all literally belong to her. This means that they have to follow every single one of her orders and this includes things such as having sex with her, etc. They are not supposed to disobey every single one of the orders of the warrior princess protagonist.

By the way, the warrior princess protagonist sometimes orders a member of her 50 knights to have sex with her. Her 50 knights always happily agree and proceeds to have sexual intercourse with her. She loves having sex with all of her 50 knights. She had sex with every single one of her 50 knights which means she is the one that removed the sexual virginity of each of her 50 knights.

The warrior princess protagonist is even thinking if she should have one of her 50 knights impregnate her in the future so she can have an heir who will one day inherit her position as ruler of her country.

Please help me develop the universe of this medieval romance fantasy novel of mine.
 
Well I apologize for my harshness, but it's rare to see an overview as horny as this.

Seriously, what's wrong with my writing? I am confused because I have seen a lot of romance novels where the main protagonist has many sexual relationships and romantic relations so what exactly is wrong with my story? I have also seen a lot of romance novels with very explicit sex scenes.

Plus, this is a medieval themed story which is why I made the princess and her 50 knights this highly sexual in a culturally alien way. They are not supposed to act like modern peoples.
 

A. E. Lowan

Forum Mom
Leadership
Seriously, what's wrong with my writing? I am confused because I have seen a lot of romance novels where the main protagonist has many sexual relationships and romantic relations so what exactly is wrong with my story? I have also seen a lot of romance novels with very explicit sex scenes.

Plus, this is a medieval themed story which is why I made the princess and her 50 knights this highly sexual in a culturally alien way. They are not supposed to act like modern peoples.
First off, sweetie, I would nail down (as it were) what sub-genre you're aiming for. Reverse Harem, straight-up erotica, romantic fantasy with a Happily Ever After? That's going to have an impact on which way your world develops.
 

A. E. Lowan

Forum Mom
Leadership
Second, you're going to want to look at aspects like geography, relative culture, politics, religion, language, etc. There is a whole, literal, world of material out there to mine for world building. The only limiting factor is your imagination.
 

Queshire

Auror
Just surprised is all. I don't mean anything by it.

There's a lot of fun stuff to play around with here. What sticks out to me is how the father & mother died if they have these immortality conferring treasures available as well as what their rivals think of this new and relatively untested leader.
 
Just surprised is all. I don't mean anything by it.

There's a lot of fun stuff to play around with here. What sticks out to me is how the father & mother died if they have these immortality conferring treasures available as well as what their rivals think of this new and relatively untested leader.

The supernatural object that supernaturally stopped the warrior princess protagonist from aging and gave her supernatural immortality only became available to her after her parents died.
 
Just surprised is all. I don't mean anything by it.

There's a lot of fun stuff to play around with here. What sticks out to me is how the father & mother died if they have these immortality conferring treasures available as well as what their rivals think of this new and relatively untested leader.

And what I meant by immortality is that the warrior princess protagonist's life isn't gonna expire. That's it. It's not that she is completely invincible to all dangers and all ways of killing. It's just that her life will not expire. That's what I meant by immortality.

She can still be killed if somebody sliced her in half.
 
Whatever gives her immortality.

Well the warrior princess protagonist is mature for her age. She is highly responsible about her position as ruler of her country. She is very patriotic. This is why she used the supernatural object(This supernatural object is the object that made her supernaturally immortal and supernaturally stopped her from aging.) to make herself supernaturally immortal and also to supernaturally stop herself from aging.

Her immortality will ensure that she has far more years to keep on fighting her enemies and to complete all of her important goals. The warrior princess protagonist not aging ensures that she will always be a strong 18 year old girl and not a weak old lady.

The warrior princess protagonist also love her 50 knights as her very precious warriors very much. They are her favorite warriors. She also trusts them very much. This is why she also used the supernatural object on them in order to make them supernaturally immortal and to supernaturally stopped them from aging.

This ensures that they will have far more years assisting the warrior princess protagonist in her fight against all of her enemies. They will also always be strong 18 year old boys and not as weak old men. This means that the warrior princess protagonist will always have 50 brave servant warriors that will always stay as strong 18 year old warriors for lots of years in her fight against her enemies.

Lots of brutal foreign imperialists and other wicked humans want the supernatural object because they also want supernatural immortality and they also want to supernaturally stopped themselves from aging. This is why the warrior princess protagonist doesn't want the supernatural object to be in the hands of wicked humans.
 
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M. Popov

Scribe
First of all, hello and welcome to Mythic Scribes! Hope you enjoy it here.

You already have an idea of what you want but you need to ask yourself a lot of why this and why that. This will give you opportunity to expand your story and characters. For example.
  • You mentioned she is a Princess from a warrior class. Describe the warrior class. Do they have any special rituals? Do they have insignias? When does training begin and how long does it last? What is her perspective on this? Does she think the warrior class needs reform?
  • Do you have a naming convention for your characters, their rank, the world, cultures, the religions etc? Does a person's naming reflect their caste?
  • She is ruling a medieval country. Exactly how medieval are we talking about? What is the size of the country? What are the customs? What are the dominant religions? Is she ruling alone or does she have advisors? I imagine she has considering she's in charge of a country and only 18.
  • You described her as brave and mature and brutal towards her enemies. But why is that? What events transpired in her life that made her who she is?
  • How did her parents meet? What was their relationship with her?
  • She is waging wars. Okay. Why is she waging wars? Who fired first? How long has the conflict been going? Are they fighting because of religious reasons, economic reasons, why? If they are waging wars for a supernatural object, then explain exactly why the objects are so coveted other than their function. And what race are the enemies, who are they as a people?
Just like in real life, events in novels happen for a reason. The reason why a lot of romance and fantasy works are liked so much is because they take inspiration from the real world giving the work a kind of authenticity. You can look at real life events for inspiration or other fiction. Look at them and interpret them in your way. Commentary. Adaptation. Criticism. Transformation.

Another thing I noticed is that your description of her and her 50 knights is way too positive. You're saying she is a strong capable leader being served by 50 strong men. That's okay. But what are her flaws? Does she have any flaws? Do they always agree with her? Do the Knights have any flaws? And are the enemies inherently evil or are they just products of circumstance? If your story is just going to feature good guys that are unquestionably good and bad guys who are just bad, then it's not going to be very interesting reading. The best kind of heroes and villains are the ones that are flawed. Flaws make them relatable. It helps push the drama. It gives them stakes.

And you mentioned the 50 knights. Managing a main cast of 51 people is a hard thing to do and when you have so many characters to juggle, chances are not everyone is going to receive equal treatment. So you might want to focus mainly on the most important knights. The ones that resonate with her the most and have the most unique personality. It's not fantasy but the first example that comes to my mind is Gustav Hasford's The Short Timers (otherwise known as the inspiration behind Full Metal Jacket). There are a lot of soldiers in the novel and in the movie, but only a select few get any attention because they are the most relevant to the plot. Use these relevant characters to show perspectives about the world they're in.

A final point I want to make is you really need to justify the existence of the immortality thing if you're going to use it on 51 strong and healthy 18 year olds. If it reverted their old age, resurrected them, gave them a new lease on life, then it'd make a lot of sense. But right now you're granting eternal youth to people who already have youth. They haven't experienced old age to yearn for their youth. Right now it seems like it was just added to compliment the romance/sexual aspect of your story, which is fine but there are more organic ways to add it. Or maybe it's just me.
 

pmmg

Vala
Can I be 51?

It too see a lot of how wonderful it all is to be her, and not a lot of her flaws and the difficulties she is going to face. I am a little dubious these knights would all get along, and survive as a group of 50 for the rest of time. My thoughts is, come back in 10 years, and most of them will be dead.

I am not sure what you need in way of developing the universe? I would suspect that there will be other nations, that will be in some category of rival/competitor, ally/enemy, or frenemy. What might they want in the world and how might they pursue getting it at her expense?

I guess I would ask, what is the conflict of this story?
 

pmmg

Vala
What do you think of this medieval romance fantasy novel of mine?

Sorry, I see the question is only what do I think of it....

Well...where is the romance in this medieval romance? 50 playthings who all share does not really sound like a romance to me. I think in such a situation the knights would not be okay with this, and jealousy and all that would start to show. And respect for her would not likely be maintained. At least, not as a lover. I think this would do better as an erotica piece, and not a romance.
 
Can I be 51?

What do you mean?

I am a little dubious these knights would all get along, and survive as a group of 50 for the rest of time. My thoughts is, come back in 10 years, and most of them will be dead.

What do you mean for the rest of time?

Also, why do you think that they wouldn't get along? Plus, why do you think that they wouldn't be able to survive as a group of 50?

I guess I would ask, what is the conflict of this story?

Well there are brutal foreign imperialist nations that want to conquer the warrior princess protagonist's country.

Also, some ruthless powerful dynasties and some ruthless powerful families from the warrior princess protagonist's country want to kill the warrior princess protagonist herself so they can get her country from her. These powerful dynasties and powerful families each have their own armies that are not from the warrior princess protagonist's military.

Some of these powerful dynasties and powerful families will also side with brutal foreign imperialists nations(These are the foreign nations that want to conquer the warrior princess protagonist's country.) in order to get support(These include a huge supply of warriors, etc.) from those foreign imperialists nations because the warriors of the armies that each of these powerful dynasties and powerful families own are weaker and are far fewer in numbers compared to the warriors of the warrior princess protagonist's military.

Some of these powerful dynasties and powerful families also formed cults that worship powerful demons from Hell in order to get powerful supernatural powers from the demons they worship. Some members of these powerful dynasties and powerful families even want the demons that they worship to turn them into powerful supernatural non-human demonic beings.
 
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