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How can I further develop the universe of this medieval romance fantasy novel of mine?

By the way, here are some of the characters of this medieval romance fantasy novel of mine:

1. Alicia (Pronunciation: A - li - sya)

Alicia is the main protagonist. She is a brave 18 year old warrior princess that is very patriotic to her country Cemdreyad. She loves having sex with all of her 50 knights.

2. Cedric (Pronunciation: Se - drik)

He is one of Alicia's 50 knights. He is very loyal to Alicia. He is a fierce and brave knight. He has a soft spot for children below the age of 7.

3. Ashra (Pronunciation: Ash - ra)

She is an 18 year old girl from the country Semurgua. She is a foreigner to Cemdreyad. She is a friend of Alicia and a powerful sorceress that fights for Alicia. She believes that Alicia can help her find her mother. She has a crush on Adrian. Adrian is one of Alicia's 50 knights.

4. Hesardin (Pronunciation: He - sar - din)

A despicable greedy man. He is a notorious mercenary from Dersenia. He and his group of mercenaries are notorious for committing human rights violations such as genociding ethnic groups and raping innocent women. He and his mercenary group love raping innocent women especially beautiful women. Hesardin is willing to work for evil men just to get a lot of money. He is willing to fight for the evil intentions of evil men just to receive a lot of money from those evil men. He also hates Raymond very much because Raymond humiliated his mercenary group. Raymond humiliated Hesardin's mercenary group two times. One time is when Raymond brutally killed all of Hesardin's best mercenaries in a fight despite Raymond being just alone. Hesardin's best mercenaries are 30 in numbers and Raymond brutally kills all of them in a fight despite Raymond being just alone in fighting the 30 best mercenaries of Hesardin. Another time when Raymond humiliated Hesardin's group is when Raymond defeated Hesardin in a hand to hand combat duel to the death in front of Hesardin's mercenaries even though Hesardin has a weapon while Raymond doesn't. Raymond didn't even kill Hesardin in the duel. Raymond defeated Hesardin in the duel to the point that Hesardin is surely going to be killed by Raymond if Raymond really wants to kill him but Raymond didn't kill Hesardin because he wants Hesardin to live with the humiliation for the rest of his life. This embarrassed Hesardin. By the way, Raymond is one of Alicia's 50 knights.

5. Gregory (Pronunciation: Gre - go - ri)

He is from Cemdreyad. He is from a powerful Cemdreyadan family. He is a highly ambitious ruthless man who wants to be the king of Cemdreyad. He wants to brutally kill Alicia and all of her allies so that he can be the king of Cemdreyad. He is one of the people who skinned alive three cousins of Alicia when he and the powerful family he came from were brutally killing all of Alicia's relatives with the help of Vegsunduramian Aydesphreynd warriors.

6. Avreuv (Pronunciation: A - vre - yuv)

She is a sexy tall beautiful 18 year old girl from Pan Jeul. Avreuv is a highly-skilled assassin and a highly-skilled warrior. She is also very skilled in using a spear as her weapon. She is very seductive towards handsome men. She loves to engage in casual sex with handsome men. She often tries to seduce Martin but Martin always just tells her to stop. By the way, Martin is one of Alicia's knights.

7. Havsunperom (Pronunciation: Hav - sun - pe - rom)

He is a very ruthless Aydesphreynd warrior. He is a Vegsunduramian from Vegsunduram. He is currently the king of Vegsunduram. He is a very ruthless man who wants to conquer Cemdreyad. He also loves torturing his enemies. He is racist and xenophobic towards non-Vegsunduramians. He is highly-skilled when it comes to using two-handed swords that have long blades as his weapons. He also considers Alicia to be a worthy opponent that can fight him in a hand to hand combat duel to the death.

8. Merrgep (Pronunciation: Mer - gep)

A slave of a Vegsunduramian Aydesphreynd. He is a 35 year old man from Zirma. He hopes to stop being a slave of his Aydesphreynd slave master. He was actually a Zirman warrior who went to Vegsunduram in order to know more about the Aydesphreynd class. He befriended a 28 year old male Eranbeyl with the name Sedmosrun because he thinks Sedmosrun can help him in knowing about the Aydesphreynds and also because he thinks that Sedmosrun can also help him escape from his Vegsunduramian Aydesphreynd slave master.

9. Sedmosrun (Pronunciation: Sed - mos - run)

Sedmosrun is a 28 year old Vegsunduramian Eranbeyl from Vegsunduram. He hates Aydesphreynds because Aydesphreynd warriors murdered his father and his mother. He is also friends with a Zirman that has the name Merrgep. Sedmosrun wants to help Merrgep in knowing about the Vegsunduramian Aydesphreynds. Sedmosrun also wants to help Merrgep escape from his Vegsunduramian Aydesphreynd slave master. Sedmosrun believes that Merrgep can help him expose the Aydesphreynd class to the whole world. Sedmosrun believes that the Aydesphreynd class being exposed to the whole world will help very much in causing the fall of the Aydesphreynd class. Sedmosrun wants to know about non-Vegsunduramian cultures. Sedmosrun also wants to leave Vegsunduram so he can live in Pan Jeul which he considers to be a peaceful well-developed nation with a rich economy. He also thinks that women and girls from Pan Jeul are very beautiful and wants to marry a Pan Jeul girl in the future.

10. Duron (Pronunciation: Du - ron)

A powerful demon who loves eating humans. He is very sadistic towards all entities he hates. He wants to brutally kill Alicia and all the people of her country as revenge towards Alicia because Alicia and her 50 knights are the ones that destroyed one of Duron's best demon armies and are also the ones that caused Duron to be trapped in a supernatural prison for a long time.
 

pmmg

Vala
I see. Its in the first description.

i am still asking the same question. For such exotic names what is the likelihood there would be an Alicia?

And i am not sure what you are wanting help on. You seem to have put a lot of effort into this already? You have more than i would before i started writing.

Without phonetics, i would read that as Al-lees-see-ah. If you want Alissa, why not spell it that way?
 
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A character flaw that doesn't complicate the character's life or punish them somehow isn't actually a flaw.

Aren't flaws just imperfection characteristics in the character? They don't necessarily negatively affect the character's lives.
 
Where is her nation and why is it important?

Her nation Cemdreyad is near three other nations. Those three nations that Cemdreyad is near to are Zermeis, Semurgua, and Pan Jeul. By the way, Cemdreyad is the only powerful nation that can rival Vegsunduram. Vegsunduram and Cemdreyad are currently the two most powerful nations in the whole world but one difference is that Cemdreyad doesn't want to conquer other nations but Vegsunduram wants to conquer other nations.
 

pmmg

Vala
Well...its a word with may contexts.

Yes, you are correct, that is one way to define them. In writing, it is usually meant to mean things about the workings (or beliefs, or mannerisms, or habits, or a million other things) of the character that complicate them and the story, and when used, usually have bad results.

For example, my main character cant read. Does that affect the story?...Yep. There is a lot to read and they dont know what it says. My MC is also physically weak. Does that affect the story?...Yep. There is a lot they need help doing, and they generally slow others down. My MC believes she can protect people, but she cannot, and she's done a very bad job of it so far. Is any of that something she can change or overcome?....with effort, maybe, but the story does not wait for her to catch up.
 
First off, sweetie, I would nail down (as it were) what sub-genre you're aiming for. Reverse Harem, straight-up erotica, romantic fantasy with a Happily Ever After? That's going to have an impact on which way your world develops.

It is going to be romantic fantasy, Reverse harem, and straight-up erotica.
 

pmmg

Vala
You seem very set on having a 'mature and violent' story, what is keeping you from writing it?
 
By the way, Havsunperom hates Kara Jalus very much. There are a lot of times where he uses an Aydesphreynd army in order to just brutally exterminate Kara Jalu clans. He tortures to death all Kara Jalu enemies he captures. He brutally killed Karaba's entire clan in front of Karaba and also brutally killed Karaba. Karaba is a Kara Jalu who raped 5 Aydesphreynd women.

Also, Havsunperom insulted Jurab in front of Jurab's army, wives, and children by saying that Jurab is just a weak warrior who is a disgusting savage. Havsunperom then brutally killed Jurab in a hand to hand combat duel to the death in front of Jurab's army, wives, and children. By the way, Jurab is one of the Kara Jalu nation's best warriors.

Most Aydesphreynds hate Kara Jalus because they think that Kara Jalus are just immoral violent savages.
 
By the way, the Aydesphreynd class of Vegsunduram aren't savages. They are civilized like the knight class and the ruler class of Cemdreyad. It's just that the Aydesphreynds are a warrior class who are very brave and very fearless but are racist and xenophobic towards non-Vegsunduramians. The Aydesphreynds are not like the Kara Jalus.

The people of Cemdreyad and the people of Vegsunduram are both civilized peoples. Sedmosrun is an Eranbeyl but he is friendly to non-Vegsunduramians and civilized.
 

Mad Swede

Maester
It is going to be romantic fantasy, Reverse harem, and straight-up erotica.
OK, I'm going to be a bit harsh and blunt here. For this to work you're going to need a very good plot and some very good characterisation. And those two things should be linked. Otherwise all you're writing is a sex and gore fest, and that has limited appeal.

As an example, actions have consequences. A character who enjoys screwing around (literally) and who seems to sleep with anyone who comes their way isn't going to be held in high regard by others, they'll just be seen as a sex-fixated air head who is unable to do anything more serious. How would such a character get others to believe them when the character says that they're going to save the kingdom/continent/world? Would anyone trust that character enough to follow them? What would the character offer their followers, other than sex? If the character does manage to change and become less sex-fixated, how long does it take before other people start to accept that the character really has changed? What happens if the character has a relapse? And so on.

And from what you've written so far I get the impression that you haven't thought this aspect through. But you're welcome to show me otherwise.
 

A. E. Lowan

Forum Mom
Leadership
OK, I'm going to be a bit harsh and blunt here. For this to work you're going to need a very good plot and some very good characterisation. And those two things should be linked. Otherwise all you're writing is a sex and gore fest, and that has limited appeal.

As an example, actions have consequences. A character who enjoys screwing around (literally) and who seems to sleep with anyone who comes their way isn't going to be held in high regard by others, they'll just be seen as a sex-fixated air head who is unable to do anything more serious. How would such a character get others to believe them when the character says that they're going to save the kingdom/continent/world? Would anyone trust that character enough to follow them? What would the character offer their followers, other than sex? If the character does manage to change and become less sex-fixated, how long does it take before other people start to accept that the character really has changed? What happens if the character has a relapse? And so on.

And from what you've written so far I get the impression that you haven't thought this aspect through. But you're welcome to show me otherwise.
You're applying modern, Western European values to a fantasy culture. What if this culture sees sexual activity as much more casual, a pleasant past time, rather than something to be ashamed of and hidden from view? What if, for example, having sex in public is acceptable, maybe even expected? What if monogamy is considered deviant? What if, what if, what if?

It is going to be romantic fantasy, Reverse harem, and straight-up erotica.
Awesome. I also agree, you're going to need very strong characterization to pull off such a large harem, and Alecia is going to need to be the strongest personality of them all. Not sure about her being eighteen. Your personality is still growing in at eighteen and holding that many lovers together is a significant challenge without trying to figure out who you are at the same time. Maybe consider someone older?
 

Mad Swede

Maester
You're applying modern, Western European values to a fantasy culture. What if this culture sees sexual activity as much more casual, a pleasant past time, rather than something to be ashamed of and hidden from view? What if, for example, having sex in public is acceptable, maybe even expected? What if monogamy is considered deviant? What if, what if, what if?
And so will most readers. A western European culture is, after all, what most of them are brought up in. Even here in Sweden you'd have trouble with a scenario like the one suggested. We Swedes don't see sex as something to feel guilty about, it is regarded as a pleasant thing which doesn't have to be connected to a monogamous relationship. Marriage isn't the norm here, and about half of all marriages end in divorce. But there are some limits. Fifty lovers? Even by Swedish standards that's just porn. Yes, you might be able to make it work in a mainstream book - but it's a very big ask, and you'd be up against a perception that you're writing porn.
 

pmmg

Vala
Personally, I think this whole premise lacks in an understanding of human beings and what motivates them.

I dont feel we are applying 'modern western culture' to the question. Just applying what is likely given what I know about people and what the example is offering. I agree with Mad Swede. This girls sex habits would be an issue. But....its his story to write.
 
We Swedes don't see sex as something to feel guilty about, it is regarded as a pleasant thing which doesn't have to be connected to a monogamous relationship.

Are you saying to me that modern Swedish women and modern Swedish girls have multiple romantic male partners while modern Swedish male men and modern Swedish boys have multiple romantic female partners?
 
Personally, I think this whole premise lacks in an understanding of human beings and what motivates them.

I dont feel we are applying 'modern western culture' to the question. Just applying what is likely given what I know about people and what the example is offering. I agree with Mad Swede. This girls sex habits would be an issue. But....its his story to write.

Okay but what do you think of some of the characters in this novel of mine?
 
Awesome. I also agree, you're going to need very strong characterization to pull off such a large harem, and Alecia is going to need to be the strongest personality of them all.

What do you mean that Alicia needs to be the strongest personality out of them all?
 

Mad Swede

Maester
Are you saying to me that modern Swedish women and modern Swedish girls have multiple romantic male partners while modern Swedish male men and modern Swedish boys have multiple romantic female partners?
Yes, some do. But fifty partners? No, that isn't accepted. There's a very impolite Swedish word for people like that.
 

M. Popov

Scribe
This novel of mine will really be mature and violent.
I understand that. My response was related to what you said earlier about the main character's parents. The point I am trying to come across is, you need to treat subject matter like trauma seriously, otherwise you run the chance of offending your audience.
 

pmmg

Vala
Okay but what do you think of some of the characters in this novel of mine?

I think you are an enigma. The focus on 18 year old hotties all hooking up, seems less mature than the amount of prep you have already put in. You have put a lot of work into this already, and seem to know what you want to write, how much preparation do you need?

Aside from the names of Alicia, Gregory and Cedric, which seem not a match compared to all the other names in the story, I think all the names are good. Some of the names are on the edge of not being able to sound them out, but I can do it. You put a lot of focus the sexual appetites of all of these, and they would do well in an erotica type story. I think you have enough to have them all conflict.

I have three books written with less prep than all of this.

But you are not answering the questions I ask. Why are you not writing this already? What is the road block? What is the story here?
 
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