My plot hinges on this prophecy, but...

[rktho]

So since the first draft of my book, there was a prophecy that the villain, who is the emperor, would die by one who shares his mark. The mark in question is a symbol on the back of his right hand shaped like a sword (which is why my novel is called Swordfist.) The mark is the insignia of an order of dark wizards he is part of, and therefore he can be the only living one, lest the prophecy come true.

Now, because of this prophecy, he created a life crystal, which is a crystal made from a material called enzarite, that the maker ties to his life force. If it is destroyed, he dies. As long as it is intact, however, he remains the same age as when he made it. Because of this, my antagonist is old, but has a young body. The crystal is semi-sentient and has certain defense mechanisms to prevent theft and destruction.

In my book, a dragon (all my characters are dragons) sells the antagonist a sword, which as a member of the dark wizard order, he wants. But then he steals the crystal from him and loses it. By the time the antagonist has apprehended him, the thief believes it was destroyed by accident when he dropped it in the river while flying. But if that were true the antagonist would be dead already, so he puts out a reward for it. And that's where my protagonist comes in.

He and his friends find the crystal and decide to return it for the reward money. The antagonist discovers the crystal's location when the protagonist touches it and sees a vision of him. The protagonist resembles a good wizard he killed, and the antagonist becomes paranoid that he will seek revenge now that he has the crystal. The protagonist, however, believes his father died in a blacksmithing accident rather than at the hands of a dark wizard. He has no idea magic even exists.

So here's my dilemma: in my drafts, the protagonist was supposed to acquire this mark somehow without knowing its significance, especially in regards to the prophecy. It would seem as though he will be the one to kill the antagonist, but in the end, the antagonist has taken steps to make sure he is the only one who has it (using a charm to wipe it from their skin when they enter his palace. He has it magically and permanently branded into his skin by dark magic, so the charm doesn't affect him.) The protagonist tricks the antagonist into destroying the crystal himself, fulfilling the prophecy.

Well, in all my drafts I've never been quite satisfied with how the character acquires the mark. I don't like the idea of it being a birthmark. Having it come to him in a dream is fine, but why would he copy it onto his hand? I don't know what to do. But it has to be there to fuel the villain's paranoia and provide the means for the protagonist to defeat him. And, also, because of the title.

 

[pmmg]

How about when the protag finds the crystal and touches it he both has the vision and the symbol is burned into his hand. Some the crystal did in its sentience.

 

[Penpilot]

Well if his father was a blacksmith, and his father had the mark, then maybe the protagonist puts it there himself as a reminder of his father, thinking it's some sort of blacksmithing symbol.

 

[rktho]

How about when the protag finds the crystal and touches it he both has the vision and the symbol is burned into his hand. Some the crystal did in its sentience.

The crystal wants to preserve itself. So it wouldn't burn the symbol into his hand. That's not the extent of its powers anyway. It can burn, but it leaves no physical injuries. That's how the antagonist knows the thief really lost it-- the thief claims it burned his tongue (he was hiding it in his mouth when he stole it) and his tongue is completely fine.

 

[rktho]

Well if his father was a blacksmith, and his father had the mark, then maybe the protagonist puts it there himself as a reminder of his father, thinking it's some sort of blacksmithing symbol.

His father didn't have the mark. It's the dark wizards' insignia. His father was one of the good wizards. Sorry, did I not make that clear? My bad.

 

[pmmg]

The crystal wants to preserve itself. So it wouldn't burn the symbol into his hand. That's not the extent of its powers anyway. It can burn, but it leaves no physical injuries. That's how the antagonist knows the thief really lost it-- the thief claims it burned his tongue (he was hiding it in his mouth when he stole it) and his tongue is completely fine.

Well, if its not a fit for your story, I understand, but you are saying the crystal wants to preserve itself, and to me that means not necessarily the dude who has entrusted his soul to it. Perhaps the crystal burns him as a way of assuring its greater self preservation. You did say it was sentient.

 

[rktho]

Well, if its not a fit for your story, I understand, but you are saying the crystal wants to preserve itself, and to me that means not necessarily the dude who has entrusted his soul to it. Perhaps the crystal burns him as a way of assuring its greater self preservation. You did say it was sentient.

Yes, but how would that be conducive to its self-preservation? It may have no problem being stolen and lost, but I question how giving someone the prophesied mark would help anything.

 

[Heliotrope]

It wants to be with its rightful owner?

 

[pmmg]

Well, its your story. You tell me...

My thoughts went along the lines of, the crystal is sentient, and dude has placed his soul in it in order to preserve himself. But the crystal may not agree that he is worth preserving, so it is secretly hoping for the removal of the evil dude. By letting his fears come true and the mark appear, it crystal sets things in motion which lead to its being free of dudes soul to preserve. Perhaps removing the need for others to come along and shatter it later. It is just secretly working against evil dude, or towards its own aims.

 

[rktho]

Well, its your story. You tell me...

My thoughts went along the lines of, the crystal is sentient, and dude has placed his soul in it in order to preserve himself. But the crystal may not agree that he is worth preserving, so it is secretly hoping for the removal of the evil dude. By letting his fears come true and the mark appear, it crystal sets things in motion which lead to its being free of dudes soul to preserve. Perhaps removing the need for others to come along and shatter it later. It is just secretly working against evil dude, or towards its own aims.

Hm... needs work, but I think I could run with this...

 

[rktho]

It wants to be with its rightful owner?

Why would its rightful owner be anyone other than the one who created it?

 

[Heliotrope]

Like pmmg said, if the crystal is sentient, why does it have to agree with its creator? Maybe it thinks it’s creator is a bad dude and wants him destroyed. The crystal knows the protagonist is the one to do this for him, so it puts the mark on him.

Or the crystal is just a jack ass that needs some entertainment so he puts the mark on all sorts of people just to watch the blood bath, lol.

 

[pmmg]

Why would its rightful owner be anyone other than the one who created it?

Why did Lucifer turn against God? Once it gains sentience, who knows what it may do.

I think you are not asking the right questions from us. How can I know the motivations of all your characters? The depth of them must come from you. Asking why your characters would do X or Y from me is revealing that you don't seem to have a grasp on them or their motivations. From the drift of this post, I think this story, and its characters, may need to bake a little more. I can throw out suggestions, but I need a sense from you if they are coming close to the mark. You have to tell me if they fit in or not.

 

[Heliotrope]

That was the exact example I was thing of!

 

[pmmg]

That was the exact example I was thing of!

GMTA

 

[Michael K. Eidson]

I have questions:

If the emperor believes the prophecy, what is the reason for making the crystal? If he keeps anyone from having the mark, then he doesn't need the crystal. Or am I missing something? Maybe he doesn't really believe the prophecy? But then why bother to keep others from having the mark, or be overly concerned when someone shows up with the mark?

Does the emperor realize that he could possibly fulfill the prophecy by destroying himself? If not, is he an idiot, or is it just that the prophecy isn't phrased in a way that makes it reasonable that anyone (including the reader) would believe that his killing himself would fulfill it? And if he does believe he could fulfill the prophecy by killing himself, why does he create a crystal holding his life force that he can easily smash? Wouldn't he want to protect himself from himself by not having all these items around that make it easier for him to off himself? Seems he'd rather not have any swords around, knowing he could pick one up and accidentally slip and fall on it, thus fulfilling the prophecy.

Who all knows the prophecy? Who all knows the mark? Does anyone else believe the prophecy? Might there be an opposing order who make it their business to give the mark to as many able-bodied adults as possible, to facilitate bringing down the evil emperor? Could they magically and permanently give it to people, knowing the emperor has magic to otherwise erase it? Or is the emperor really not so evil as to have any capable, organized opposition?

 

[rktho]

I have questions:

If the emperor believes the prophecy, what is the reason for making the crystal? If he keeps anyone from having the mark, then he doesn't need the crystal. Or am I missing something? Maybe he doesn't really believe the prophecy? But then why bother to keep others from having the mark, or be overly concerned when someone shows up with the mark?

Does the emperor realize that he could possibly fulfill the prophecy by destroying himself? If not, is he an idiot, or is it just that the prophecy isn't phrased in a way that makes it reasonable that anyone (including the reader) would believe that his killing himself would fulfill it? And if he does believe he could fulfill the prophecy by killing himself, why does he create a crystal holding his life force that he can easily smash? Wouldn't he want to protect himself from himself by not having all these items around that make it easier for him to off himself? Seems he'd rather not have any swords around, knowing he could pick one up and accidentally slip and fall on it, thus fulfilling the prophecy.

Who all knows the prophecy? Who all knows the mark? Does anyone else believe the prophecy? Might there be an opposing order who make it their business to give the mark to as many able-bodied adults as possible, to facilitate bringing down the evil emperor? Could they magically and permanently give it to people, knowing the emperor has magic to erase it? Or is the emperor really not so evil as to have any capable, organized opposition?

Good questions.

The emperor is hyper-paranoid that the prophecy is not binding, meaning he could be killed by a means other than the prophecy. By creating the crystal, he not only ensures that he can only be destroyed if the crystal is, but that he lives in a young body for as long as the crystal is intact. If he protects the crystal, he will live forever. Taking a redundant measure against the prophecy is only half his motivation. The other half is that he craves power, and immortality is appealing to him. The crystal is not as easily destructible as it appears; that's part of the enchantment. It has survived falling from great heights before. However, the right circumstances will cause the crystal to be destroyed. Hm... maybe I need to flesh out the rules more. Anyway, with the crystal intact, he can't be killed except by the crystal being destroyed. He can feel pain, but he can't die.

Who knows of the prophecy? Only him and his master. The opposing order only learns of the prophecy later.

Like I said, this needs some serious work. That's why I created the thread. Maybe I need to rewrite this aspect entirely.

 

[DragonOfTheAerie]

Really like the idea of a jackass crystal that just creates chaos for fun. or yeah, maybe the crystal wants to find someone who can defeat the evil dude.

 

[Hallen]

A general convention is that magic comes at a cost. It's not always necessary, but it often makes for a good way to limit otherwise limitless beings.
In order to make the crystal, it seems reasonable that the emperor would need to give something up. This possibly makes the crystal recalcitrant and leads to it constantly trying to be found. But it also provides a weakness for the emperor, much like a horcrux or a one-ring.

As far as the mark goes, you have two choices. Either it's an intrinsic thing belonging to your hero. In other words, something gained at birth -- an innate thing that cannot be manufactured or produced. Like musical talent, for example. It doesn't have to be visible at first, it can show up when he does something magical or some other way, but it's part of him.

Or, it's something he earns or learns via much work and tribulation. In this case, many like him could be made.
The mark itself may be bestowed by your gods/your magic/the universe when certain things are accomplished. For example, once your hero accomplishes some task or learns some lore, or something, he gains things. Maybe the hilt or cross guard, something along those lines, so he has to build up to the full power and the full mark.

But, if you want your hero ignorant of his power and destiny, then having the mark at birth because he is destined is generally the way it's done.

Personally, I would avoid destiny and prophecy in this way. I'd go with finding weaknesses in the emperor, one of which is the crystal, and have your hero find ways to exploit that weakness. Give the hero a reason to go after the emperor rather than having him fumbling around accidentally killing the emperor because of some prophesy and destiny. But, that's just me and it's your story.

I do like the idea of the sentient crystal. It could be an effective MacGuffin that leads the hero through the story. It could be a bit like a sprite or a pixy that just wants to have fun, but in the end, it wants to either posses the hero to live free, or maybe kill its master so it can be free, or something like that.

 

[rktho]

A general convention is that magic comes at a cost. It's not always necessary, but it often makes for a good way to limit otherwise limitless beings.
In order to make the crystal, it seems reasonable that the emperor would need to give something up. This possibly makes the crystal recalcitrant and leads to it constantly trying to be found. But it also provides a weakness for the emperor, much like a horcrux or a one-ring.

As far as the mark goes, you have two choices. Either it's an intrinsic thing belonging to your hero. In other words, something gained at birth -- an innate thing that cannot be manufactured or produced. Like musical talent, for example. It doesn't have to be visible at first, it can show up when he does something magical or some other way, but it's part of him.

Or, it's something he earns or learns via much work and tribulation. In this case, many like him could be made.
The mark itself may be bestowed by your gods/your magic/the universe when certain things are accomplished. For example, once your hero accomplishes some task or learns some lore, or something, he gains things. Maybe the hilt or cross guard, something along those lines, so he has to build up to the full power and the full mark.

But, if you want your hero ignorant of his power and destiny, then having the mark at birth because he is destined is generally the way it's done.

Personally, I would avoid destiny and prophecy in this way. I'd go with finding weaknesses in the emperor, one of which is the crystal, and have your hero find ways to exploit that weakness. Give the hero a reason to go after the emperor rather than having him fumbling around accidentally killing the emperor because of some prophesy and destiny. But, that's just me and it's your story.

I do like the idea of the sentient crystal. It could be an effective MacGuffin that leads the hero through the story. It could be a bit like a sprite or a pixy that just wants to have fun, but in the end, it wants to either posses the hero to live free, or maybe kill its master so it can be free, or something like that.

In the course of my series, the protagonist sets out to return the crystal and discovers secret history that he was unaware of, including the fact that the person he was trying to return the crystal to is his father's murderer. In the second book, when the villain returns, the hero and villain are more invested in defeating each other. The hero begins to learn of magic and discovers that he has been chosen to be what is called the Riphalaron. The Riphalaron is basically a representative for the Rishnaran, creator and ruler of the universe. The Riphalaron's powers often manifest in the form of prophetic dreams of the past, which turn to dreams of the present and future as his power grows. His power cannot be unlocked the way other wizards unlock their power, so initially, the hero is less powerful than the other wizards around him who have years of experience. But as his journey progresses he unlocks more abilities.

I probably should do away with the prophecy. What I need to do is generate a list of questions as to what I will do without it and answer them.

1. If the emperor is not afraid of the prophecy, why does he create the crystal? Answer: because immortality is a power he craves. The Elder Swords will give him that power, but until then, a life crystal is a suitable alternative.

2. Why does the antagonist's master keep his other apprentices secret from him if the mark's prophecy is not in play? I feel this has many valid answers, but it needs to be a good one.

3. What can destroy the crystal?

4. Should the hero destroy the crystal himself, or have the villain do it? As I've read this thread, I think perhaps the hero should carry out the deed himself.

5. What should the extent of the crystal's powers and sentience be?