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Random thoughts

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by SeverinR, May 14, 2013.

  1. ATKH

    ATKH Scribe

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    Every time I think I'm over the fact that I couldn't continue boxing, I stumble upon a discussion on martial arts and immediately feel bad.

    Two years ago, when I'd just moved to a new place but had plenty of spare time, I decided to join this boxing club not far from school. I'm perpetually broke, so it felt really nice to have a hobby with a yearly fee of about fifty euros. The first month or six-ish weeks were super nice, because I got to do all kinds of tough exercises as warm-up and punching a bag properly made my arms sore. After the initial "my arms hurt all the time" phase I was quick to learn new techniques - I soon had a pretty nice array of punches and managed to stay consistent with footwork.

    This is where my greatest problem arose: I was the only girl at the club, so even though I saw guys who'd done a lot less than me get to spar with each other, there was no way anyone would raise a hand (glove) against me because a) getting beat up by a small girl would have been humiliating and b) beating up a small girl would have been humiliating. I tried to soldier on, but eventually dropped off the club before having to pay the membership fee.

    Now I've moved to a place with a really decent boxing club nearby, but there is no way for me to join because on weekdays I am usually occupied by school and getting there from 4 am to 5 or 7 pm and spend what little free time I have sleeping and doing necessary housework. Plus this one would cost several hundred euros a year, which is way beyond my budget.

    I keep telling myself that one day, when I have a job with money to spare and life is merry, I will return to boxing and/or rugby, the best two sports I've ever tried. But by then I will be old and out of shape.

    /rant over
     
  2. I want a smoothie :(
     
  3. Thomas Laszlo

    Thomas Laszlo Sage

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    I've never done serious boxing but I've done some at home.

    I have never even seen rugby up close, what is it like??


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
     
  4. CupofJoe

    CupofJoe Myth Weaver

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    Rugby has been described as "a game for hooligans played by Gentlemen" where as football [aka soccer] is "a game for gentlemen played by Hooligans".
    When it's played well it can be full of grace and power.
     
    Thomas Laszlo likes this.
  5. Russ

    Russ Istar

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    Rugby is awesome. I played prop for many years and it is a fantastic game. Tough, physical, calls for cardio and skill, lots of strategy and the after party is always good. Go Bokies!!!!
     
  6. I love watching Rugby. I think it is my third favorite sport to watch behind American Football and freestyle wrestling.
     
  7. Having a lot of social anxiety right now. I don't even know if it's social anxiety. What would you call it? At any rate I don't really feel like posting on the forums a lot of the time because the voices in my head say "you're just annoying everyone," "you're being a burden," "everyone here would rather not have you around."

    I feel guilt about basically every interaction I have with other people because I'm not adhering to some standard of being a good person that's been created in my mind. Feel guilt for failing the techniques in Krav class, feel guilt for talking to my friends about stuff they probably aren't interested in, feel guilt about showing my friend a song she didn't like very much. I feel guilt about writing this. I feel like because I don't do all these things "right" I'm hurting/annoying/bothering other people and it's a terrible feeling.

    You know, i really want to be the person that is there for everyone, but then it blows up in my face because everyone ends up having to be there for me. It's hard to call for help when you just feel even worse by burdening everyone with your problems.

    And so I haven't been very comfortable posting lately because I hate posting questions and having everyone answer them, and I hate not being able to help people out with their stories...I want to give back to this community instead of just take-take-taking. Same with everything I do. :(

    Generally I feel like a very high-maintenance person who is always being a problem and I really hate it.

    Anyway. Vent over.
     
  8. Futhark

    Futhark Inkling

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    Hey Dragon, I feel ya. Sounds like your self-esteem is wrapped up with the concept of being a people pleaser. I worked so hard to become independent and self-secure that besides my wife and kids I have no close friends at all. I am still insecure about posting though, because I think, who wants to hear from me? You should have seen my anxiety waiting for my first reply. Just know that even if you are high maintenance, there are always others that like lending a hand. I think a lot of them are on this forum so keep posting okay?
     
  9. Russ

    Russ Istar

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    I'm glad you got that out of your system.

    Now go back to writing, and back to posting questions and comments around here. I like your posts.
     
  10. Futhark

    Futhark Inkling

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    Quick question, how do you quote parts of a thread?
     
  11. Svrtnsse

    Svrtnsse Staff Article Team

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    Like this?
    At the bottom of each post there's a link that says "Reply With Quote" it includes the post you're reply to as quoted, then you can edit that as you wish.
     
  12. Futhark

    Futhark Inkling

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    Ok thanks I will try that.
     
  13. Malik

    Malik Auror

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    If you need self-esteem, DOTA, you can always borrow some of mine. I've got plenty to go around.
     
  14. spectre

    spectre Sage

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    Like the game DOTA? :)

    Sent from my SM-G550T1 using Tapatalk
     
  15. Malik

    Malik Auror

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    DragonOfTheAerie.
     
  16. Svrtnsse

    Svrtnsse Staff Article Team

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    DirigibleOfTheArcane
     
  17. spectre

    spectre Sage

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    Lol, duh

    Sent from my SM-G550T1 using Tapatalk
     
  18. Self esteem? More like relief to my paranoia. I have difficulty reading people and knowing what kinds of things are appropriate to say or do in what circumstances. Being aware of that, I'm constantly having to curtail myself and keep track of how my behavior might affect other people and generally be aware. However, I've gotten too paranoid about it...so I end up thinking almost everything I say is "wrong." But how do you not be paranoid when you make wrong moves so easily?

    Of course, part of this is my underlying belief that I'm not likable for some reason. (I've been indirectly punished for my quirks in almost every peer group I've been in.) So yes, maybe a little self esteem might help...
     
  19. I relate. Gah, I do relate. I just want to keep from messing up, ya know? I try to avoid saying the "wrong" things but what do you do when it all seems wrong?

    Probably long years surrounded by neurotypical teenage girls with whom I cannot relate on any level have trained me that all interests and insights I have are taboo and unwanted. I generally assume I'm being annoying nowadays. Not a good assumption to make.

    Not sure whether the solution is "say all the things I'm scared to say" or "don't say anything I'm not sure about."
     
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