Romance And Gender.

[Steerpike]

I think this focus on gender can lead to a incorrect way of thinking about characters. IMHO writers should ask Is this what my character would do? instead of asking Is this what my female character would do? There's a subtle but significant difference. You said it yourself above. Any trait can be found in either gender, so if you want to write a woman with a masculine way of thinking, it's fine. OR if you want to write a male with feminine traits that's fine too. As long as you're true and honest to the character you defined, nobody can say either is wrong.

This is exactly right.

 

[Feo Takahari]

I normally like to play Devil's advocate here, but for once I feel like I have to agree with the crowd. If you're not writing for a specific audience that demands a specific kind of romance, just write the kind of romance that fits the characters you've created. (I play a lot of JRPGs, so I've gotten really, REALLY sick of works that force unique and interesting characters out-of-character to fit the same few romance arcs.)

 

[Ankari]

I have a different view. Gender does not determine how one reacts to romance, but social norms and expectations do. A society that imposes certain restrictions on a woman, no matter if it's right or wrong, will influence the woman's reaction when that restriction comes into play. Same for the man.

This is one of the many benefits of world building. Your characters aren't disjointed. They all share a common cultural influence that ties them together. Even if you have one person asking the other to break with cultural norms, they both acknowledge its existence and the obstacles it presents.

 

[Aravelle]

One thing almost all women like: passion. Women like sensuality, they like feeling protected generally, or at least knowing that if they fall, there will be someone waiting to help them get back on their feet. They like being cherished, appreciated, and having it shown or verbalized [depending on their personality]. Look at the cheesy romance novels and their dialogue. There's quite a crowd of women who eat it up.. why? Because it's a good looking man overwhelmed with passion, his passion spilling forth through his words.

Referring to the women liking a challenge.. they like it when their love interest is willing to break the rules, to take a risk in being with them [which leads back to passion]. Of course there are exceptions to all of these things.. but think of it like cooking [i.e. generally people like a certain type of wine with a certain type of meal, but not all]. It depends on the woman, really.

Some women also like the notion of being able to snag a guy whose marvelous, as it can boost their self worth.. as sad as it sounds.

 

[SeverinR]

I agree,
If you want a fantasy story with a romance in it, then this works.
If you want a romance with fantasy aspects, this might need a little rework.

I think the op wants a romance that women will love, so the character needs to act more romance-like. The character still needs to act and respond in "character", but you want it to be romantic in nature.

Basically the chicken or the egg. You need to groom your character to be romantic rather then change them to act romantic, unless of course your Conan(Arnold) character is trying really hard to impress a woman, then they could uncharacteristically force a change in their reactions. It will seem forced, because it would be.