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What Do You Think of This Plot?

Zak

Dreamer
Hi, I'm a 12 year-old boy who loves writing-especially fantasy. I had created this plot but before I begin writing-what do you think of it? Feedback?:

Eamon is in possession of two of the most powerful objects in the universe- the Apherious Bow and the Polygamy Knife. They are capable of cutting any substance in the universe. Queen Zephyra has been following him for almost a year now in an attempt to retrieve the two objects. In the meantime, she is using the Polygamy Knife's twin to cut portals into other worlds. Eamon runs into Airlia, a girl his age from another world. They set off on a journey to destroy the objects. Eamon wishes to do so because he is aware that the Queen wants them to unite all the worlds in hope that the universe can exist in harmony. Eamon is well aware that if this happens, many of the worlds will dispute and fight. Million-billions-trillions of lives will be lost. Not only must he deal with the Queen's many allies, he must also deal with the numerous beings being transported to other worlds through the Queen's portals she created.

Thanks! :)
 

Steerpike

Felis amatus
Moderator
The knife sounds like The Subtle Knife from Philip Pullman's "His Dark Materials" series. I don't think that is a problem in and of itself, but you should be aware that readers will make the comparison.

Ultimately, how well the plot works is going to come down to how well you write it. A good writer can succeed with a plot or story line that has been done a million times, and a bad one can fail with something completely original. The only way to know is to start working on it and see how it comes out. I don't see anything troubling in what you've proposed so far, and more than that I think what you have here can be the basis for an excellent story.

Welcome to the site.
 

T.Allen.Smith

Staff
Moderator
One bit of caution... If these items are so powerful, how will you place limits on their use or capabilities?

Having something or someone too powerful can create a lot of problems. Readers may question their use. Characters (and writers) may rely on them to heavily to solve problems. These types of things can cause a reader to disconnect from a story. Limitations on power are very important.
 

Zak

Dreamer
If you've read the series "His Dark Materials" Philip Pullman did a wonderful job at keeping the power of the Subtle Knife to a very appropriate level. Hopefully, I can do the same. I see your worry though.
 

Queshire

Auror
Uh.... I'd change the name of the knife if I were you though..... most people take a rather dim view of polygamy...
 
Objects of great power that are coveted by a powerful villain? Well meaning owner wishes to have them destroyed before they do untold damage? Professor Tolkien might have some suggestions.

That doesn't matter. As steerpike says, it comes down to how well you can carry it off.

Welcome to the forum...learn as much as you can...just about everyone has something valuable to say. If I'd started at your age I probably would have been published decades earlier. You might be world famous before you're 20.

Good luck!
 
By the way...polygamy knife? Why on earth would you call it that? Surely marriage is about joining rather than cutting. (Although I could make a joke about cleaving and cleaving...)
 

Zak

Dreamer
I've never heard of polygamy in my life. I had no idea what it meant. I'll change that! Hahaha and thanks for the tips!
 

Chilari

Staff
Moderator
Polyversal might be a better word to describe the knife, if it can be used to access many universes.

But yeah, polygamy literally means "many women" or "more than one woman". It's from the Greek, and generally refers to men with more than one wife, though has come to mean relationships with more than two participants, whether the extra is male or female. Polyandry is when a woman has more than one husband. Polyamory is a more recently coined word using the Latin for love (and thus mixing Greek and Latin in the same way that makes some linguists annoyed at the word "television", which also melds Greek and Latin stems) and refers to relationships with more than two participants with no indication of the gender of any participants.

Good luck.
 

Steerpike

Felis amatus
Moderator
That's a good idea Zak (changing it). I thought about that as well, but I figured you probably had a good reason in terms of the story for giving it that name.
 
First off, I must say I admire your creativity and desire to write at such a young age. Stick with it and you could go far.

As far as the story, it's not bad. I agree with some of the others that you need to set limits with the all powerful objects. Not sure how you want to do it, but some examples could be:

- The person wielding it is at risk, due to its powerful nature, it could inadvertantly hit/destroy them.
- Only certain people from a distinct bloodline have the ability to unlock its powers.

Also, when seeking a good name for an object, sometimes I find it useful going into a word processor and type in a word describing your goal. Let's use: Powerful

Then, under the menu, click on Thesarus. It will bring up several alternatives, with similar meanings, in this case:

- Influential
- Strong
- Effective
- Persuasive


This, at the very least, can stimulate more ideas. Good luck!
 

Zak

Dreamer
- The person wielding it is at risk, due to its powerful nature, it could inadvertantly hit/destroy them.
- Only certain people from a distinct bloodline have the ability to unlock its powers.

I am actually planning on making Eamon and the Queen distant relatives in order to represent why both he and the Queen can use it. And thanks for the first tip. I'll make sure to add some sort of danger to it. Like every time it cuts a substance a negative effect happens.

Thanks for the feedback everyone!
 
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