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Sex?

Iamfenian

Closed Account
How many of you use sex scenes in your WIP? I have made several unreserved sexual scenes in my novel because I feel like it's a vital part of the story and know that many young adults like it. When Fifty Shades of Grey came out boy did that book make the rounds at work. I read one excerpt and was actually not impressed. My scenes are brief but pretty explicit and it made me wonder how many of you think this is a signifcant element to your story. Happy writing!:D
 

Ireth

Myth Weaver
I personally see no need for it, especially if it's explicit. The closest I've come to writing it is a couple engaging in foreplay on their wedding night; I skipped the actual act.
 

Steerpike

Felis amatus
Moderator
It depends on the story; it can be significant or gratuitous, depending on how the author handles it.

Keep in mind, however, that explicit discussions are not allowed on the forums, so speak in general terms. There's no need to reference specific language that you might use, &c.

EDIT: Ninjaed!
 

Ophiucha

Auror
I write sex scenes out if they are important. The story I am working on is probably going to have one between the main character and her girlfriend, but I'm not committed to it. If it does happen, though, it will probably be quite explicit by nature of its purpose in the story. My other major character couple may have a very intimate scene without any actual sex, since one of them is a nun. We'll see how it goes. Writing sex is kind of hard - not as hard as battle scenes, for me at least, but they rank with 'em.
 

Iamfenian

Closed Account
Thanks everyone....no I wouldn't showcase any of my sex scenes but I do think they're vital to my story. The reason why is because of what I mentioned before with Fifty Shades of Gray...the young women were all entralled by the sex scenes and there was so much buzz about it I knew I could incorporate it into my story easily. It's not just hardcore raw sex; there's also an element of love that goes with the sex.
 

Devora

Sage
I wanna ask the question: is it necessary to write a sex scene, or can you skip it and just imply it happened?
 

Devor

Fiery Keeper of the Hat
Moderator
I wanna ask the question: is it necessary to write a sex scene, or can you skip it and just imply it happened?

You can definitely skip it. And many times implied can be more powerful than explicit. But it all depends on what fits the tone of your novel and the seriousness of your characters.
 

Ophiucha

Auror
I wanna ask the question: is it necessary to write a sex scene, or can you skip it and just imply it happened?

I'd say it just depends on the situation and what tone you're setting for the story. One could get themselves into a situation in which writing out the scene better serves the story - like if you need to have something happen in the middle of it. But you could also choose to include it to set a certain tone, as well. A Song of Ice and Fire does that rather effectively. Sex is definitely still considered something of a taboo in non-erotica fiction, but strictly speaking having a sex scene won't take up any more space than half of the crap writers put in their stories; I don't think a sex scene is any more to the detriment of a work in terms of its literary quality than a three page description of what food is on the table or all of the ships in a navy (*cough* War and Peace *cough*)... but it's far more likely to turn people away from your work, and it pretty much instantly means you're not getting into any school libraries or the YA section of a bookstore. And if you're writing an LGBT sex scene, often you'll get put into the 'LGBT' section of the bookstore even if it isn't that important. I've found some great science fiction novels shoved in that little corner just because the love interest was as male as the main character.

There are many, many, many valid marketing and literary reasons to skip it and just imply it happened, but I also don't think every sex scene in the history of literature has been gratuitous and unnecessary. It's up to you, and your publishers if it makes it to that point.
 
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Alexandra

Closed Account
Why is sex more contentious than violence? No one thinks twice about describing how one character guts another like a fish but the friendly poke is verbotten!?! Why?

A few commenters have mentioned implied sex, what about implied violence:
Sir Tom drew his blade on Sir Dick and soon the song of steel on steel echoed throughout the hall.... Later, while have a drink with Sir Dick, he said, "Tom, I killed 'im." Not quite the same, is it?

Sex will play a role in my main character's development, and in her story. To put it bluntly, she's a woman...she has needs. Sex scenes will be written. The inclusion of graphic sex in my work may turn off (pun intended) some potential readers and my work may never find its way into the YA section of a library—so be it. I don't care. The tales must be told, the songs must be sung, and to myself and my characters I must be true.
 

Ireth

Myth Weaver
Sex will play a role in my main character's development, and in her story. To put it bluntly, she's a woman...she has needs. Sex scenes will be written. The inclusion of graphic sex in my work may turn off (pun intended) some potential readers and my work may never find its way into the YA section of a library—so be it. I don't care. The tales must be told, the songs must be sung, and to myself and my characters I must be true.

Why is it people always (or at least often) say that women have "needs", and not men? And why does that automatically justify explicit onscreen sex? (Or does it?) The villain of my vampire novel is a nymphomaniac, yet I don't show him having sex with any of his lovers, even implied sex.
 

Ophiucha

Auror
Female sexuality is definitely more taboo, historically and presently, so I think when you are subverting that, the language changes to emphasize it. Men who enjoy sex are kind of just seen as 'normal' - neither stereotype is good, but the former tends to be more harmful. Although, that said, I've nearly always seen the phrase '[x] have needs' in reference to men instead of women, so that particular example may just be anecdotal.
 

Ophiucha

Auror
As for the violence/sex thing... I mean, I think that's just how it's always been. Like, you'd be burned at the stake for being a 'witch' if you were a little too flirty with another woman's husband, but there wasn't much wrong with the same woman's kids watching you be burned alive. But yeah, it's a bit odd that this standard is still around. I think George R.R. Martin has a quote about that; I'll link it if I find it.

edit: GRRM quote.
 
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Devor

Fiery Keeper of the Hat
Moderator
Why is sex more contentious than violence? No one thinks twice about describing how one character guts another like a fish but the friendly poke is verbotten!?! Why?

The long and short of it, like you said, people have "sexual needs," and very few people have violent ones. Thus, sexual portrayals affect people more.

But "sexual needs," mind you, doesn't just mean "a need for sex." For instance, if I feel like someone is using sex to manipulate me, I get put off by it. My "sexual need," in that case, is to respect myself and my marriage.
 

Alexandra

Closed Account
Why is it people always (or at least often) say that women have "needs", and not men? And why does that automatically justify explicit onscreen sex? (Or does it?) The villain of my vampire novel is a nymphomaniac, yet I don't show him having sex with any of his lovers, even implied sex.

I used the expression "women have needs" in relation to my principal character because she's a woman. When she falls in love she quickly experiences the fact that men have needs too, not that she didn't already know. As to why others use the expression the way they do...I have no idea. I am not using the expression in question to justify the presence of sex in my work, I don't feel any need to justify it. Tis just a part of the characters' lives.

If your nymphomaniac vampire is never depicted having sex, nor is the sex implied, why make him a nymphomaniac? Is he fighting his urges?

By the way, your male vamp has satyriasis, only women can be nymphomaniacs, I believe. Correct me if I'm wrong.
 

Ireth

Myth Weaver
If your nymphomaniac vampire is never depicted having sex, nor is the sex implied, why make him a nymphomaniac? Is he fighting his urges?

By the way, your male vamp has satyriasis, only women can be nymphomaniacs, I believe. Correct me if I'm wrong.

I shouldn't have said I never implied it, that was a mistake. It is implied, just not shown. His urges, and his desire to fight them, play a large role in his backstory, but by the time of the novel proper he has long since given himself over to them.

I also never knew there was a different term for that issue in men than women. Interesting.
 

Alexandra

Closed Account
As for the violence/sex thing... I mean, I think that's just how it's always been. Like, you'd be burned at the stake for being a 'witch' if you were a little too flirty with another woman's husband, but there wasn't much wrong with the same woman's kids watching you be burned alive. But yeah, it's a bit odd that this standard is still around. I think George R.R. Martin has a quote about that; I'll link it if I find it.

edit: GRRM quote.

I love the way George R R Martin used sex in the A Song of Ice and Fire, and how tis used in HBO's Game of Thrones. I wrote about the depiction of sex in GoT last summer, when the series was catching a lot of flak for its allegedly gratuitous sex: On the Game in a Game of Thrones.
 

Ophiucha

Auror
I've heard satyriasis and nymphomania both used for men. I don't think the former is very commonplace, though it does have the nice mythological gendering going on (satyr/nymph), so I like the word from a linguistic perspective. A lot of old gender words have faded out of use, though usually it's the masculine one that becomes the norm.
 
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