Favorite Movie Quotes

[Tom]

You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders - The most famous of which is "never get involved in a land war in Asia" - but only slightly less well-known is this: "Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line"!

-Vizzini, The Princess Bride

 

[Addison]

"I am the league's director, Silas Ramsbottom."
Minions. "Phht, bottom, hahahahahahahaha!"
Ramsbottom, scowling "Hilarious."

While I'm typing this, everything the minions do is hilarious and their language makes me crack up every time.

 

[skip.knox]

Another one from To Have and Have Not
"Was you ever bit by a dead bee?

But, really, the very best one is this, which Bacall says to Bogart after she has kissed him, then they have a second kiss.
"It's even better when you help."

Her first movie role, practically her first scene. Nineteen. *whew*

 

[Saigonnus]

"Rodents of unusual size... I don't think they exist..."

*Gets tackled by one*


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[Russ]

Colour Sergeant Bourne: It's a miracle.

Lieutenant John Chard: If it's a miracle, Colour Sergeant, it's a short chamber Boxer Henry point 45 caliber miracle.

Colour Sergeant Bourne: And a bayonet, sir, with some guts behind.

 

[Saigonnus]

Colour Sergeant Bourne: It's a miracle.

Lieutenant John Chard: If it's a miracle, Colour Sergeant, it's a short chamber Boxer Henry point 45 caliber miracle.

Colour Sergeant Bourne: And a bayonet, sir, with some guts behind.

Zulu is a great movie... If a bit old-school.

Rocco: What the f%#k? How the f^%k did you f#}king guys... F%#K!!
Connor: Well that certainly illustrates the diversity of the word.


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[Feo Takahari]

You have taken the land which is rightfully ours. Years from now, my people will be forced to live in mobile homes on reservations. Your people will wear cardigans and drink highballs. We will sell our bracelets by the roadsides. You will play golf, and enjoy hot hors d'oeuvres. My people will have pain and degradation. Your people will have stick shifts. The gods of my tribe have spoken. They have said, "Do not trust the Pilgrims, especially Sarah Miller." And for all these reasons, I have decided to scalp you and burn your village to the ground.

Apparently Mythic Scribes thinks this post is too short. Is this better?

 

[Garren Jacobsen]

Vinny Gambini: Is it possible the two defendants entered the store, picked 22 specific items off of the shelves, had the clerk take money, make change, then leave. Then two different men drive up in a similar -
[Seeing Mr. Tipton shake his head no]
Vinny Gambini: Don't shake your head, I'm not done yet. Wait till you hear the whole thing, so you can understand this, now. Two different men drive up in a similar-looking car, go in, shoot the clerk, rob him, and then leave?
Mr. Tipton: No. They didn't have enough time.
Vinny Gambini: Well, how much time was they in the store?
Mr. Tipton: Five minutes.
Vinny Gambini: Five minutes? Are you sure? Did you look at your watch?
Mr. Tipton: No.
Vinny Gambini: Oh, oh, oh, I'm sorry. You testified earlier that the boys went into the store, and you had just begun to make breakfast. You were just ready to eat, and you heard a gunshot. That's right, I'm sorry. So, obviously, it takes you five minutes to make breakfast.
Mr. Tipton: That's right.
Vinny Gambini: Right, so you knew that. Uh, do you remember what you had?
Mr. Tipton: Eggs and grits.
Vinny Gambini: Eggs and grits. I like grits, too. How do you cook your grits? Do you like them regular, creamy or al dente?
Mr. Tipton: Just regular, I guess.
Vinny Gambini: Regular. Instant grits?
Mr. Tipton: No self-respectin' Southerner uses instant grits. I take pride in my grits.
Vinny Gambini: So, Mr. Tipton, how could it take you five minutes to cook your grits, when it takes the entire grit-eating world twenty minutes?
Mr. Tipton: [a bit panicky] I don't know. I'm a fast cook, I guess.
Vinny Gambini: I'm sorry, I was all the way over here. I couldn't hear you. Did you say you were a fast cook? That's it?
[Mr. Tipton nods in embarrassment]
Vinny Gambini: Are we to believe that boiling water soaks into a grit faster in your kitchen than on any place on the face of the earth?
Mr. Tipton: I don't know.
Vinny Gambini: Well, perhaps the laws of physics cease to exist on your stove. Were these magic grits? I mean, did you buy them from the same guy who sold Jack his beanstalk beans?

Guys, I can't believe I didn't have this one as well. This is like my favorite lawyer show quote of all time! In fact, this is my favorite crime show quote of all time! This is easily in my top 3!

 

[Tom]

@Feo: Gotta love Wednesday Addams...

 

[MineOwnKing]

I was in Thailand, playing Ping-Pong in Ding Dang.

Who's Barry Badrinath?

 

[Legendary Sidekick]

From "Riding with Death" (a 2-episode TV pilot)

Leonard Driscoll: Sam! Get back here! You're as elusive as Robert Denby!

MST3K fans might appreciate this quote. The episode 2 antagonist, Robert Denby, had not yet appeared nor been introduced in the film at all when MC Sam turned invisible, prompting this comparison from his frustrated boss. Heckler Mike Nelson replied, "Who???"—just like that, with three question marks.

 

[Jay_Ehm]

This exchange from John Wick had me laughing for a good couple minutes or so when I heard it for the first time watching the movie. This is one of the early scenes in the movie that makes you realize what this movie is truly about, in summary.

As for a more serious quote, from Fellowship of the Ring,

Frodo: Go back, Sam. I'm going to Mordor alone.
Sam: Of course you are. And I'm coming with you.


Sam Gamgee has got to be one of my favorite characters in anything of all time, and that particular quote and what he does and then says after it really cemented that for me. Of course nearly drowning because of intense loyalty to a friend would look very unhealthy in a friendship and not too smart in real life, but that's not the point of the scene. This scene shows just how dedicated Sam is to being there for his friend in what will be a very tough time for both of them.

 

[Gryphos]

Thinking about it, my favourite line has got to be the worst delivered line in movie history, from that hilariously terrible film 'The Room'.

"I did naht hit her. It's naht true. It's bullshit. I did naht hit her. I did naaaaht... Oh hi Mark."

Simply because I cannot convey the full gloriousness of this line's delivery through writing, here is the scene in question. The line in question is right at the start, but to be honest every line in this scene is hilarious in its own way.

 

[SeverinR]

“I'm not a Witch; I'm your wife." Princess Bride. (is there a difference?)
[h=1]“You seem a decent fellow, I'd hate to kill you. You seem a decent fellow, I'd hate to die.” Princess bride.[/h]
"I know I promised, Lord, never again. But I also know that YOU know what a weak-willed person I am" LadyHawke
"Are you flesh, or spirit?" "I am sorrow." Ladyhawke

"It's good to be the king" Robinhood, men in tights.

"I know who you are. Murderer of innocent travelers on the road. You're gonna be held to account for the things you've done, do you know that? Do you?" Book of Eli.

 

[Ban]

My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.


Best quote from my favourite movie. I watched this movie so many times as a kid and it is what got me interested in history and by extension fantasy.

 

[Heliotrope]

"You are more beautiful than Cinderella. You smell like pine needles and you have a face like Sunshine."
- Bridesmaids.

Not super classy but makes me laugh every time.

 

[Caged Maiden]

Okay, one of my favorite movies of all time, Tankgirl. Full of quotable scenes and snarky dialogue.

Tank Girl: Listen up, cause I'm only telling you this once. I'm not a bedtime story lady, so pay attention. It's 2033. The world is *screwed* now. You see, a while ago this humongous comet came crashing into the earth. Bam, total devastation. End of the world as we know it. No celebrities, no cable TV, no water. It hasn't rained in 11 years. Now 20 people gotta squeeze inside the same bathtub - so it ain't all bad.

Sgt. Small: You want to play, I'll play, and I'll win.

Tank girl: No, not if we play Monopoly, because I really kick ass at that game. But, I get to be the shoe.

T-Saint: I say we kill 'em!
Donner: I say we hump 'em.
Booga: I say we eat crumpets and tea.
Deetee: Tasty! Crumpets and tea. All in favor of crumpets and tea, say "Aye."
Rippers: Aye!
T-Saint: Shut up! Ain't gonna be no crumpets and tea.

 

[MineOwnKing]

The World's End



Gary King: Tonight, we will be partaking of a liquid repast as we wind our way up the Golden Mile. Commencing with an inaugural tankard in The First Post, then on to The Old Familiar, The Famous Cock, The Cross Hands, The Good Companions, The Trusty Servant, The Two-Headed Dog, The Mermaid, The Beehive, The King's Head, and The Hole in the Wall for a measure of the same, all before the last bittersweet pint in that most fateful terminus, The World's End. Leave a light on good lady, for though we may return with a twinkle in our eyes, we will be in truth blind - drunk!

 

[Heliotrope]

Yeah, I pretty much love everything Simon Pegg

 

[CupofJoe]

It's not the years, honey, it's the mileage.
Dr Henry [Indiana] Jones Jr [Raiders of the Lost Ark]