A shadowy portifolio

The nun walked further then ever before, until she had finally reached her goal. The cave. As she drew closer to the cave, her habits swaying in the breeze, she pulled out her golden blade, wreathed in flame. She tucked her beard into her armor, and screamed: "REVENGE OF THE DWARVEN...

Oh, your clean, ivory teeth ever so shiny your three beautiful heads hairy and slimy Your bright green talons ready to kill Your bright green talons oh, they give me a thrill Your translucent feet made from pure glass and of course... your STINKY BUM GAS!

Zoki: She's a small, grey shorthair cat with a long tail. Captain Flo, of the Coral Fleet: He is a towering steel wall of an orc, with a golden eyepatch over his left eye. The eyepatch has a red marble inside of it, which glows an unearthly light. His tusks are both broken, encased in bronze...

Air Lightning Fire Lava Earth Slime Water Ice These are the elements, in a circle. . . . . . . . . .

Get some ZeMed today for curing acne! Must be injected into your face bi-daily. Contains 'animal' products. Side effects may include: Itching, mild cold, fever, constipation, erectile dysfunction, death, cacti falling from the sky, and joining a bad Beatles death metal...

Magic requires pixie dust. It can turn people into donkeys whenever you want on Tuesday, and nothing else. You have to decide how long the effect will last one minute before turning someone into a donkey. In order to use it, you must be the seventh son of the seventh daughter, or vice versa. You...

ARMOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!See? Armor! ARMOR!